Tuesday, October 28, 2008

i am moving.

LIKE FOR WHAT, 3RD OR 4TH TIME?! HAHAHA!!!

mydearpapa.wordpress.com

Thursday, October 23, 2008

:D





seriously arh. if ya can guess, no prizes given.




hey estehr. does this look familiar?

i haven't posted pics for a VERY long time. :D :D

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

english paper update

helloesx.

the essay question was a God given question. why? because i did an essay exactly the same question. what question? ONE WORD ESSAY LA!!!! yeah!!! THE SAME ONE WORD ESSAY WHICH I SCORED 20/30 FOR CAME OUT. Papa is very faithful, very. and ya know what, this ain't the first time something like this happened. the same thing happened for my prelims and midyears. except this time came like a huge wave. HAHAHAHA IF YA GET WHAT I MEAN. section two was quite alright. i bluffed a lot. as in seriously. i said city hall was near botanical gardens and the orchid garden in the botanical gardens is newly built. paper two was quite tricky. made me think and ponder a lot. but i think it was do-able. quite alright!!!!

hahahaha!!!! i'm very happy!!!! if you wanna ask for my handwriting, i think it's legible[though not beautiful]. i cancelled like crazy though. i cancel cancel cancel. and my whole paper was nearly 2 pages long because i cancelled one para after another. HAHAHAHA!!!!

k. i'm gonna sleep though the night and start studying tmr!!!! :D :D :D

Monday, October 20, 2008

quick update to show that i'm well, living.

hello all.

my chem paper was quite alright. gotta say though, didn't quite turn out the way i expect it to be. HAHAHAHA!!!! but it was alright!!! anyway, it's 12:30am and i'm supposed to be asleep. then again, i realized what sleep can really do. lacking of sleep=not energetic. :(

k tmr's english paper. plx plx pray for my handwriting. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! :D

Sunday, October 19, 2008

ming tian shi beginning of o level!!

yeah!!!! hahaha i'm excited.

i can feel that it's gonna be over quickly!!!!!!!! pray for me plx!!!!! :D :D :D

Thursday, October 16, 2008

history likes to repeat itself, especially when i talk about it only yesterday

i was just groping my butt when i realized that the cloth seemed a lil' rough and frayed and my fingers.. somehow could go through.

aahhh!!!!!! there's a hole at my pants!!!!!!!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

sheeps are dumb

true ya know. sheeps are dumb. and i'm like one.

ya wanna know how weak i am? i've got so many weaknesses, flaws that it would take a long time to count them all.

i' m very rebellious. very. i always like to bend rules. and usually when i do so, i would regret a million times i have never done that. and the guilt cycle comes again.
i'm very proud. ya know.. i always think i'm such a big deal. i always think that i'm best, i'm good and i don't really like it when people correct me.
i'm lustful. okay ya don't need the details.
I'M JUDGEMENTAL. HAHAHAHA. THAT'S ONE OF THE KILLERS MAN. i judge people based on their looks, capabilities when i myself.. ah. have no right to do so. and i t makes me a hypocrite as well.
i'm very very very insensitive. i don't really care alot about what others feel when i talk or do something. and i hurt or offend others usually.
AND I'M A LOUSY STEWARD OF TIME AND MONEY.
I'M VERY LAZY. VERY VERY VERY.
and i'm someone with loads of jealous and envy.
and and and i'm very inconsistent as well. i don't show love to people i find unlovable.

aiya! lots arh!!!!!! hahahahaha!!!!! but ya know, David probably said "The Lord is my Shepherd" with pride coz he is indeed God's sheep. and true eh.

this few days have been very tough. man!!!! hahahaha!!!!!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

i'm very happy!!!


this is what truly defines me. thanks a million, lora!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D and thanks for being so encouraging and appreciative!!!!! :D

Friday, October 10, 2008

grey earl tea

don't really like it man. the taste is just so weird. :(

Thursday, October 9, 2008

one of thai MT's highlights

haha i ripped i from jonneh's blog. love ya jono!!!!!!!!!

Monday, October 6, 2008

Sunday, October 5, 2008

if you guys are reading this..

okay. i'll say something about these 2 people.

cheryl: i had a sms from this friend of mine whom told me about his probs in cell, his leader being short-tempered and stuff. and it took me a long time before i realized that my own cell leader is loving and she never judges us. she loves us for who we are and she corrects us with love, hoping we will change, whenever we do something wrong. the thing about cheryl is that she's like Jesus, loves us whether we're messed up or not. btw, she's patient. very.

rebekah: she's my smallgroup leader. what really hit me was how open and honest she is about her own weaknesses. it's difficult to be honest. many people want to give an impression that they're fine, decent, doing alright. but rebekah's truthful and humble. that's something impressive.

so guys, if you are reading this, please know that i salute you two, in Jesus' name!

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hahaha, today was a great day!!! i studied at church, then at buddy hoagies[I SAW CHERYL AND KONKON], then at church office. i've a bad feeling i go to buddyhoagies to study just so that i can drink bubble tea and study at the same time[fyi, i got kiwi milk tea]. and the worst thing is? i didn't know you can upsize your bubbletea until kidkid told me. and so i did. btw, i think i wanna try out all the flavours. hahaha gonna be exciting!!! and and today, anthony taught me how to play that ji ba ban song. k la, it's difficult coz there's this chord that needs me to stretch my fingers a lot. but still, it's a fun song to play!!!! i told khee bay that we can play guitar everyday and true, i'll practise guitar, esp scales, after o's!!!!!! i drank 3 cups of different beverages at church office. so convenient to have a hot water dispenser and loads of instant drinks, eg. milo, latte[argh, it was very creamy. i told anthony and kid i think i'll laosai after drinking it], milk tea etc etc. there was even this tin of swedish berries tealeaves which i was tempted to experiment with but i was afraid i'll swallow the dregs and i can't take the taste, j.i.c it's too strong.

to kidkid: thank you for walking me to the bus stop whenever you can. if you're reading this, please know that i feel very loved and i thank God for you.

























ps: j.i.c= just in case

Saturday, October 4, 2008

woohoo

i had an awesome time today. i sat with es and went home with es and zoe. and i had good time, good fellowship, good guitar playing time. :D :D :D it's so good to spend time with good friends!!!! awesome!!! oh yeah i raced with yuri, es, junxian. if you saw me racing, you would have seen me given up halfway[when we were racing to the toilets. some of us wanted to wee-wee]. HAHAHAHA.

man, tmr i'm gonna study in church!!!! yay!!!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

confused

yeah and sometimes i'll start wondering a lot of things and i just don't know what to do!!! and i was just begging for mercy when this popped up in my mind:

"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, 6because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."

and i searched for my Bible and read on:
"Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

it's just so hard to be convinced that God still loves me when i feel oppressed, when i feel like the whole world's falling down, when i feel the driest. until i realized God's discipline meant that He loves me!!!! and it's true that emotions are lousy leaders. blah!!!! anyway, i'm gonna speed up my breakfast and quickly rush to p.h!!!! :D :D :D

2 more weeks to O's!!!!! :D

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

helloesx, i'm here again.

OH OH OH HELLO BROG!!!!!! YEAH BROG. I'LL CALL MY BLOG BROG. HAHAHA.

anyway, these past 2 fays were horrible. i totally lost my aim for studying because i just couldn't figure out what am i studying so hard for and why must i study my guts out because i don't think i'm studying for God but am studying for myself, for my folks. and it's freaky to know how tired you are after that because all this while your eyes were fixed on the wrong place.

it's true. trouble indeed came. and sometimes i just don't know what to do and it seems as though God's so far far away. what i did still haunts me at times. mistakes, errors, wrong this, wrong that. argh!!!!! it's just so bad!!!

and then, i was doing my qt and thanking God for her when she called me. and she till felt the same!!!!! she too, also wondered what is she studying so hard for!!!! man, we are tired people. tired of studying, tired of studying for the wrong motives. and i was just crying over the phone telling her over the phone to just "give your best" because there're times when i don't and even if i did, it's with wrong intent and these few days seem so oppressive. i felt as though God's far and God doesn't love me anymore.

hahahaha!!!!! :DD

Saturday, September 27, 2008

sellgluup covenant

YEAH SELLGLUUP COVENANT!!!!!!!!

but what i know now is that cellgroup is family and we can be open, honest and share anything without being judged and people will still accept us for who we are!!!!!!! family man!!!! :D

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

zoe

*at outram mrt*
zoe:it looks weird..
yining: you mean the train or the movie[i was just talking to her about money not enough 2]
zoe: the train.

and when we were onboard the train and i heard that guy in that same ol' voice saying "next station, tanjong pagar." i then finally realized it IS weird so i tried do some thinking and re-routing when i realized, to my huge horror and exasperation, WE WERE ON THE WRONG TRAIN!!!!!!!!! i don't know how does my mind works but my faculties told me that the train going to pasir ris goes to redhill BUT IT DOESN'T. AHH!!!!!!

it's amazing, how acute lil' kids can be. and she thinks the train is weird. i think i'm weird.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

in front of the com screen at 12:23AM. naughty boy, yining!!!

some things i really like to do:

1) jogging. i rmb i used to jog alone a lot last time. and i suspect that jogging offers no help in improving my stamina. i still feel breathless. easily. old liao la!!! but i really like jogging with other people like kidkid or qianyi, hahaha!!!!
2) guitar. seriously man!!! it's just so good to learn how to play a new song or a new strumming method or something new!!!! i've got loads to learn after O's!!! :D
3) RAP AND TRY TO DO ACAPELLA. YEAH IT'S SHOO GUD TA RAP, YO. CMON, RAP LIKE MAD, RAP TILL YA DROP!!!
4) basketball. and that's first stop after O's!!!!!! :D
5) eat. you know, i may not possess a voracious appetite but i still like to eat good food. and good or not, just eat. HAHAHAHHA. like.. BA KU TEH?[HINT HINT. HAHAHA!!!!!]
6) PLAY FRISBEE. YEAH, VERY FUN!!!!!!! and it's really a relief and an amazement that frisbee ain't just flinging a mini UFO.

okay, i just wanna blog coz i don't wanna sleep early. and i've brushed my teeth already and i don't wanna eat. gotta brush those yellowing teeth walls again if i do anyway. :(

Thursday, September 18, 2008

i'm really so sorry for da lack of updates, yo.


zhong hua and his fan club. no kidding. :D


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one thing that really scares me is the sucking of those bubble tea "bubbles." it's not something i dare to do, sucking those "bubbles" at full speed. it whizzes up the straw with a "poop" sound and woosh, it goes down your throat so quickly, it gets stuck there. then you suffocate and die. HAHAHAHA.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

why do i

"..Why do i think that he wouldn't want to hear about my problems?
Why do i think he is too busy for me?"
Why do I think he's tired of hearing the same old stuff?
Why do i think he consults his list when i ask for forgiveness and asks, "Don't you think you're going to the well a few too many times on this one?
Why do i think i have to speak a holy language around him that i don't speak with anyone else?
Why do i think he won't do in a heartbeat to the Father of Lies what i thought about doing to the fathers of those bullies on the bus?.." taken from The Applause of Heaven by Max Lucardo

God is love man!!!! my God's all about love!!!!

anyway, i'll post my results only after i gotten them all. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! don't wanna spoil the fun!!! God's good, God's very faithful!!!!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

shadow of your wings

"Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed." Psalm 57:1-3

"Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
8 My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me." Psalm 63:7-8

David sang out Psalm 57:1-3 when he was at that cave. when everybody was against him. when he realized he had no where to go. it's so strange that God is most approachable, most real when you're most vulnerable. and sometimes life just goes so far where you just feel so crushed, so defeated, so lousy.

God is very good, very merciful.

anyway, i've been having LOADS of fun at prayer house!!! i took a video yesterday and i'm gonna post it when i have time!!! :D :D :D

Friday, August 29, 2008

relationships and love

Luke 22: 50-51" When Jesus' followers saw what was going to happen, they said, "Lord, should we strike with our swords?" 50And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear.
51But Jesus answered, "No more of this!"

and that was what ps preston shared about during radical conference. i sure have cut off many ears, hahahaha!!!! :p and that's what Jesus will probably say to all the broken relationships in my life[usually broken by me].

"no more, yining!!!"

ahh! it sucks to the core when you have broken relationships and you're the reason of the crumbling of it!!!! i guess john was really right when he said that those who do not love do not know God because God is love.

my God sure is a love of God:

Zeph 3:17 "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

it's so hard to imagine God as a God who's always cheerin' you on and quieting you with his so awesome love!!! 1 john 1:9 tells us that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness!!!! where can we find sucha faithful God who forgives!!! i was just singing "East to West" by Casting Crowns once and suddenly when i sang this part and it hit me hard:

"Cos you know just how far the east is from the west, from one scarred hand to the other."

true ain't it!!!! man, i pray that God give me love, compassion and sensitivity!!!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

today

i jogged! with kidd and eugene. gotta say though, enjoyed it a lot! partially because i enjoy a moderate workout and the sweating part. okay the sweating part applies only when i enter the air-conditioned prayer house. shall not explain the physics behind it because i did, on my physics P2 today. on a more serious note, we should really exercise like this once a week. lazy bones here don't exercise much!!! :p

OH YEAH TODAY WAS MY LAST PAPER! HAD PHY P2 AND SCI MCQ. gotta say though, sci mcq was quite a killer, especially the chemistry part. it was challenging, very brain-tickling!!!!! hahahaha and i made a lot of mistakes for my physics paper and just for laughs, i spelt "rarefaction" as "rarefRaction." and i wasn't the only one!!!! lol!!!

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i did Acts 27 today for qt.

Acts 27:18-19 "We took such a violent battering from the storm that the next day they began to throw the cargo overboard. 19On the third day, they threw the ship's tackle overboard with their own hands. 20When neither sun nor stars appeared for many days and the storm continued raging, we finally gave up all hope of being saved." it sucks sometimes when you get hit hard. and you just give up hope. you end up hopeless. you don't even know what to hope for because everything seems so dreary, so bleak. and we'll probably dump away some important stuff just to save ourselves. like what, our relationship with God?

Acts 27: 29-30 "Fearing that we would be dashed against the rocks, they dropped four anchors from the stern and prayed for daylight. In an attempt to escape from the ship, the sailors let the lifeboat down into the sea, pretending they were going to lower some anchors from the bow."

yeah. i think sometimes i hate myself when i realize i'm dry and empty and i start pretending that everything is alright or just pretend that the dryness doesn't exists. but soon the arid and desolate desert will get to me. and that was what happened! sometimes you end up empty and parched that you just don't know what to do. as in, you just don't know how to solve this problem!!! no, there ain't any reason for me to pretend no matter how desperate i am to save myself or just make myself feel better.

this desert phases are probably so common and inevitable. and they are probably the things God uses to mold our character. James 1:3-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

btw, paul seemed to sound very exasperated in Romans 3:4 "What if some did not have faith? Will their lack of faith nullify God's faithfulness? 4Not at all!" it doesn't matter that much for us to have faith because God's still faithful. okay, it's important to have faith but if we feel guilty coz we lack it, then that's being legalistic which is wrong. God's faithfulness reaches to the sky. so great!!!

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed"

my Heavenly Father is truly a faithful God!!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

"Not to us O Lord, not to us but to Your name be the glory for Your love and faithfulness."

thank God for..

1)good study mates who're in JC so when i've qns, i can bug them. HAHAHA!!!! :D
2)FUN study mates because my study mates aren't people who refuse to smile and constantly stare at their books 24/7.
3)encouraging study mates. for people who give encouragement cards and pray for me.
4) lastly.. thank God for WANG WANG CURRY CHICKEN WHICH TASTES VERY GOOD. HAHAHAHA!!!

anyway, yesterday i was studying physics when suddenly i realized i couldn't go on anymore. and i couldn't bear to take a look at my chem notes despite having a mcq today, it's as though my eyes have got an aversion to notes. then i've got this sms.

"last paper already.. glorify God ya!"

and it smacked me in my face so i chiong all the way when to my horror, i realized if i didn't read my notes, my memory wouldn't be refreshed and i would have forgotten many stuff. whew!!!

Lifesong by Casting Crowns

Empty Hands held high
Such Small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight

May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to you
Chorus:
Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign your name
to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You

LORD, I give my life
A Living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be your hands and feet

So may the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

Chorus

Hallelujah, Hallelujah,
Let my lifesong sing to You

Sunday, August 24, 2008

on the bus!!

nat, shawn, youzhao and i made some promises to each other. though it may sound stupid for some, gotta say that it's really awesome! i ain't gonna post what they promised! but here is mine!

"if it's God's will and i become a youth pastor, i'll buy you all drinks!!!"

HAHAHAHA!!!!! i guess i can't make promises like splitting up money if i win 4D[like what nat said] because i may just hide all the dough and not share. NO KIDDING. HAHAHAHA I PRAY GOD GIVE ME A HEART TO SHARE.

anyway, i had a VERY good and productive time studying!!!! really awesome because i was doing chem. i must really say this. you'll enjoy studying if you enjoy the subject. don't enjoy the subject, too bad la! just pray then!!!! hahaha!!!! i enjoyed spending time with junze, kidd, shawn, youzhao, grace, karyn and gracia. eh BTW i went for baptism today and sangeetha was baptized!!!! i was so excited for her, as though i myself was getting baptized!! but sangeetha sure is a warrior in Christ!!! oh i went for Bible study too!!! ps daniel talked about knowing your Bible and i gotta say that i DO-NOT know my Bible very well. :P

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it's good to be set free. it's good to have deep friendships. it's good as compared to having illusionary infatuations. and God sure is good and gracious!!!! tmr's chem paper!!!! i pray i'll have fun doing it!!!! :D :D :D

Friday, August 22, 2008

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

exams and prayerhouse

ahh my history exam was quite alright! i doubt i'll do EXTREMELY well though!!!! but the essay was awesome because qn was God-given!!!! muwahahahha thank God!!! :D

AND MY ORAL WAS REALLY HORRIBLE!!!! hahahaha i was so nervous and disorganized with my thoughts!!! but i sure had fun!!! and God really answered my prayer of giving me nice and friendly examiners!!! eh my chinese oral examiners were very stern!!!!! horrible!!! hahahahha!! but i guess my examiners were alright!!! :D

some of the latest jokes:

gracia: anyone wants chocolate chip cookies?
sang: OI WHY YOU EATING MY COUSIN?!

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! funny right!!!!

gracia: the crumbs are all over the place!!!
sang: OOOHHH MY COUSINS GAVE BIRTH!!!!!!!

HHAHAHAHA!!!! seriously!!!!

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ahh ps preston shared this verse!

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."

yeah amen!!!!! sometimes life deals us so hard but God's still good!!!! yeah!!! and and and i had awesome fellowship time yesterday!!!! it's awesome to know that people go through the same stuff as you!!! no temptation has seized you except what's common to men, indeed!!!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

what a way to enjoy life

eating durian and b&j(that strawberry cheesecake flavour thingy) before blogging!!! :D :D :D

i've been having a lot of fun in prayer house nowadays. mmm. sangeetha, qianyi and liyuan were helping me with my oral. OKAY NO LIYUAN WAS JUST THERE LAUGHING AT ME.

yining: how do you pronounce f-i-l-m?
sangeetha: *pronounced it correctly*
yining: is it fer-lerm?

and everyone burst into laughter!!! hahaha!!!

yining: fer-fer.. AIYA FARM?!
sangeetha: HAHAHAHAHA. FARM! I BRING CHICKEN FOR YOU OKAY!!!!

and everybody burst into laughter again!!!!!

and we had good time laughing at jokes. seriously man!!! so difficult to come up with a good joke!!! :( :( :( and sangeetha has so many of them!!!!! she's the joke machine!!!

okay i've got history exam and oral!!! and i pray that i'll be able to have fun talking to the examiner and doing my hist paper!!! seriously, i'm VERY unproductive today. but ah! pass, praise God. fail, praise God. A1, praise God. amen? :D :D

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it is true. the times when you're lonely are really the times you can spend time with God. when God is most real, probably most approachable. sometimes my mind and heart drives me mad. but God's still very good. now i know God is in control, i have nothing to worry about tmr's exam. and i have nothing to be proud of. rmb yining!!! you ain't any big shot and you don't need to score straight A's or be the holiest person for God to love you!!!! now, that's a huge reminder i gotta remind myself!!!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Phil 3:14

someone sent me this sms:

"Yining can do all things through Christ who strengthens him."

amen!!!!! thank God for people who care by encouraging!!!! thank God!!!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

table tennis!!!!!

LOL!!!!!! i didn't know that i was named after the world's no.1 table tennis player!!! i MUST say, i had fun watching it at home with my folks!!! and i really enjoyed those moments that i see the players on the verge of giggling or laughing because they know they're winning!!!! seriously man!!!

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so i guess this is what process is about:
"Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:4

and and and!

"..give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name."

Thursday, August 14, 2008

another quick post

hi i'm kinda rushing out lunch and typing this so gonna make it quick :D

i just finished my science practical. it was really disastrous!!!!! hahahaha but i kinda had fun doing it!!!! like the napthalene was stuck in the glass tube coz it's frozen and i tried to be helpful by digging the napthalene out but the glass rod broke instead. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! but on a solemn note, i would have failed miserably if this was real O's. but STILL, it's worth many laughs!

oh yeah! i had my SS paper!!! and i had fun doing it too!!! there were 3 essays and.. and the first one was on SRI LANKA. and that sure is a God-given question!!!!! God sure is good and funny!!! i studied everything except venice just in case and i know of people who studied only sri lanka and it was spot on!!!! but sometimes it really reminds me of how God works. God don't look for people who are just hardworking. God looks for people who depend on Him and ridiculous as it may sound, serving cellgroup or ministry the day before, God still honours those who honours Him!! really awesome testimony and my friend have a lot to thank God for!!! :P :D

ALRIGHT. GOING PRAYER HOUSE NOW. TOMORROW IS SATURDAY!!!! FINALLY.

quick post

ytd when i was walking the bridge holding a plastic bag with a 1.5l bottled water inside, the plastic bag gave way and THE BOTTLE ROLLED DOWN THE BRIDGE AND FELL 4 STORIES HIGH. and THANK GOD there was no one below if not my next destination will be Changi Prison and not poly. HAHAHAHAHA. and amazingly(like what liyuan kept harping on), it DID NOT RUPTURE. the bottle was not really unscathed though. had a couple of scratches and a bent tip.

things to thank God for!

1) zhonghua who sent me a prayer sms. it's awesome when someone prays for you.
2) God's grace because this week was tough. very.
3) the auntie who gave me more rice than usual when i went and eat cai fan!
4) OH YEAH. i came up with the FDEL for the ASEAN and deterrence chapter. how cool is that!!!!
5) my history test which i got a 33/50 for it!!! I never scored anything above 30 or hit 30 for that matter!!! i guess God's just so good!!! fyi, i ain't a virtuoso in combined humanities as well. i am truly someone undeserving.
6) i've learnt how to choose good apples now!!!! :D :D :D :D
7) i got to know more people, eg. gracia and spent time with people too, eg. jingwei!! :D :D :D

my history test marks really showed that it doesn't matter how badly i do because God is still good!!! fail or pass, just try my best la!!!

thank God for God's amazing love and forgiveness when i needed it, grace when i needed to extend it.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

listeners

whew!!!! it's so good to have accountability partners who will share your burden and just listen!!

Monday, August 11, 2008

prayerhouse

it feels like my home because i don't mind going around barefooted!!!! here's the usual routine:

1)jian le will usually come first with his guitar. and you know the equation. jianle+yining+guitar=play. HAHAHAHAHA. no la that's a lie. jian le don't need me to sing along with him. :( NO I'M KIDDING AS WELL. HAHAHAHA.
2)then other people will trot inside.
3)and i'll ask them what's the password from the inside.
4)so the password is that they gotta say something nice about me!
5)then we start studying, starting out productively
6)then after an hour or two, i start losing concentration and we either talk lots of rubbish or play guitar!!!
7)then in the afternoon, we'll go beauty world eat! yesterday was that teochew mui thingy!!!!
8)the whole cycle repeats itself


anyway, i have fun picking apples with zhonghua, seeing zhonghua running towards me with a flower windmill[and i'm holding a flower], playing guitar[ALI TAUGHT ME NEW STRUMMING METHOD AND MELLIMOO TAUGHT ME ENDLESSLY], talking about brendan's indian dancing moves and.. studying. i also like the times i go back home with nat on 67 coz that's really fellowshipping time!! NO I DON'T ENJOY STUDYING. okay la i enjoy it when i do it with my friends. :D :D :D

i think i'll be going to prayer house everyday. i really enjoy it overthere!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Ps Preston:

you know, you don't have to accomplish or do anything, Jesus loves you whether your life is messed up or not. whether you tried your best or not.

ya guys know what? sometimes i'm so sick and tired of making the same mistakes over and over again. haha!!! i was just listening to the sermon cd i bought the day before and i was reminded that processes are important for change.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

God's awesome promises

1Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2and he began to teach them saying: 3"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 5Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. 6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. 7Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. 8Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. 9Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. 10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you


i went to church to study today!!!! [come, pat my head and sayang me. LOL!!!!!!] okay la it wasn't very productive in the beginning since i was so excited to see that my beloved cellmates[jian, wayne, hongs] owned the place. pawnage plx!!!! and jian bought his guitar and it's awesome because I SAW HIS DOUBLE AND TRIPPLE STRUMMING. CRAZY I TELL YOU!!!!! God's really blessed jian a lot in his guitar skills. seriously!!! i still remember those times when jianle was still plucking "More than Words." LOL!!! but i had good time with my own cellmates. oh btw, liyuan and jingwei joined us!!! LOL! it's so good to have company!!!
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i reached home at 11:30PM and my mum wasn't very pleased. dead worried i guess.

Mom: you don't need to study until like this one! i don't need you to get all A's, i just want you to get into poly blah blah blah blah..

yeah. i want to get into poly too. and i'm not studying for all A's. okay la to a certain extent i am. i'm just trying to scrape a good pass for english. how i wish that on the spot, i could just tell her this:

"yours truly may not even be able to go poly because there're good prospects that he'll flunk english."

ah. it really hurts because i don't wanna say that to my mum. my mom after all DID frowned when she knew about my mids results which in my opinion was God's grace to me.

"He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD." Psalm 112:7

yeah!!! no fear!!! my prayer is that God'll remind me that either i pass or fail, God is forever glorified. work for food that don't spoil!!!!!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

shocked

because it's 12:19AM!! just came back from F.O.P and seriously, hahahaha!!! worth it!!! so worth it!! i had real good fun k!! like i had a lot of nice shots flying over a dustbin[HONGS WHERE ARE THE PICS!!!!!!!!] and had good fun playing arcade basketball. we[estehr and i] lost dearly to the hongs team[hongs and jane]. ahh. but really!!! and i really enjoyed myself at F.O.P. it was good time of p&w!!!! and the sermon was really good, hahahah since it's SO APPLICABLE!! aiya i feeling very lazy to post what God spoke to me through sermon about. skip it k!!

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kay. back to sermon yesterday. okay technically it's the day before. TELL YOU, IT WAS A BLAST. i really enjoyed the new structure because i get to stretch my legs out like some hawker. really shiok!!! but best of all, God really offered me awesome insights about girls and reminded me a lot of stuff. MEN of God, unite!!! hahahahaha!!!

a-MEN? yeah, amen!! note the emphasis. MEN.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

another day in cafe!!

He saw heaven opened and something like a large sheet being let down to earth by its four corners. 12It contained all kinds of four-footed animals, as well as reptiles of the earth and birds of the air. 13Then a voice told him, "Get up, Peter. Kill and eat."
"Surely not, Lord!" Peter replied. "I have never eaten anything impure or unclean."
The voice spoke to him a second time, "Do not call anything impure that God has made clean." taken from Acts 10

so, who am i to judge? and who are all of us to judge who's unclean and who's not? hahaha!!! i remember this song from Casting Crowns called "Love her Like Jesus does." i really like the title a lot and the music does sounds nice!!! :D :D :D :D

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anyway I DID CAFE AGAIN!!!! WOOHOO!!!! really awesome. but i really gotta thank God for my maid who woke me up(which means she woke up earlier than me) at 5:45 AM!!!! woah my maid super power one!!!! tell me la, which maid living on this island can wake up their owner's son at 5:45AM!!! hahahaha!!! and i must say, i really enjoyed myself!!! and it really proves how single-minded i am coz i cannot multi-task, doing laksa/spaghetti/tagger/fryer/milo for that few moments!!! but God's really good by letting me serve today! like i got to know more people now!!! AND I WENT FOR BIBLE STUDY too!!!! (special thanks to sister pingfen for giving permission!!) i entered 30minutes late but i still enjoyed myself!!! (and i got to know more about dingo dogs. DAWGS!!!) so after that, we trot down to macs before deciding to study at buddy hoagies instead. (when i said we, i meant rachel teo and natnat) k la we studied but we talked a lot also. natnat's stories never fail to make me laugh! so after that, nat nat and i took bus 67 home. it wasn't bad coz my motion sickness didn't strike me during that time. okay initially a bit, HAHA!!! but still, i had real and good fellowship with natnat. i haven't had a good convo with someone for quite some time. it's just awesome when 2 people start sharing their thoughts and feelings because it's personal and yet there ain't much boundaries.

btw, i couldn't finish my dinner at home. plain rice and brocolli ain't very appetizing. i think it's the green tea that upsetted my stomach. ah!!

Friday, July 25, 2008

love love!!!

i'm feeling really random so i wanna write some things about myself so that you guys can know me more!!

1) so far, i think i have snapped 4 guitar strings. i think one belong to lester's guitar, one belonging to serena's guitar, one belonging to kenneth's guitar and.. my mum's ancient guitar.
2) i really enjoy pacing my house and counting the number of steps leading to the end. beats studying anyway!
3) i really like to put my leg on the table while i'm sitting down.
4) if i have flu in the middle of the night, my bolster or blanket becomes my tissue
5) i don't remember myself breaking any of my bones before. note, i said "don't remember."
6) i don't brush my teeth when i was young and sometimes up till now, i don't, occasionally.
7) i have no idea whether i'm more active at night or day.
8) i loved playing digivices when i was small. loved it!!!
9) i'm really a klutz. very VERY clumsy.
10) i'm also VERY disorganised. i am NOT exaggerating!!!
11) i always lose my stationery. always.
12) my previous handphone got confiscated twice in a row within a time span of 1 week.
13) i got bitten by a dog on my butt when i was 8. i remember the plasters. if you call them plasters.
14) i had a crush on this malay girl when i was 7 years old.
15) i liked listening to oldies last time by artistes, eg. bread, chicago and beatles
16) and then i proceeded on to heavy metal and emo music, eg. hawthorne heights and a7x
17) i like people piggy-back-ing me!!
18) i like doing science because it assuages stress for me.
19) i don't carry plastic bags with me when i bring my dog to poo last time
20) and in the end, there was this man who kinda blew his top even though my dog was just peeing and after that incident, i try to make it a point to bring plastic bags
21) one of my school blouse had marker lines drawn by my teacher because i tucked out my shirt. i don't mind showing it to people!
22) my first movie trip with someone that ain't family was when i was 14.
23) i joined drama club as a cca when i was in primary school for 2[not consecutive] years.
24) i wanted to join scouts when i was pri6 but my mum didn't want me to.
25) my first experiment with steak was.. last year if i ain't wrong. or was it the year before? or this year? aiya somewhere in between this 3 years!
26) i don't mind playing serenading other people provided that they don't call the cops.
27) i doubt i'll mind bUsking as well(see cheryl, bUsker not BASKER! HAHA!).
28) i think i prefer trunks than briefs as a swimming costume. same sentiments, anyone?
29) I DO NOT HAVE A PENCIL BOX. HAHAHAHA!!!!
30) my wallet is i think.. a year and a half years old. or most probbie older.
31) my handphone ear piece is spoilt so i have to hear i from the speaker.
32) and i only started hanging out with friends when i was 15.
33) i only have 2 outdoor camps in my whole life, with the second being the most disastrous.
34) i liked chatting with internet friends. and meeting them up!

okay i can't think of anything else. hahahaha!!! :DDDD TMR'S GODAY. GOD-DAY. YEAAAAHH!!!!!! :D :D

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

God in Evan Almighty: if someone were to pray for courage, you think God would give him courage or opportunities to be courageous?

so, right now i'm feeling like i'm gonna flunk my English and this prospect is frustrating and depressing. but few days ago, i prayed that God would stretch my faith! i want more! so i guess the faith comes when we trust in God in such situations!!! yeah!!! i mean, if i fail then too bad la!! and it makes no diff even when i pass coz God's still good!!!

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anyway, i'm really very encouraged. you know it's not everyday that you find people who'll appreciate you. few who would articulate their thanks. and i really thank God for debra coz she's so encouraging.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

difference!!!!!!!

i went to Adelphi[correct spelling, i think!!!!] t study with nat, yuting and shawn. and I BROUGHT MY GUITAR WITH ME. aiya don't ask me whether the revision was productive or not. i'm gonna finish my chem syllabus soon and i enjoyed the mee siam there. and all 3 of them except me had kueh neng. AHH!!! :(

so, i went to shawn's house and ate durian with natnat. yeah we kinda had to pry open the durian on our own which was quite an experience and nat seemed to enjoy himself. at least more than me! and there was this durian which was so rotten inside, it stank like rotten eggs, no kidding AND NO EXAGGERATION. IT LOOKED LIKE SOME DISFIGURED DURIAN IF YOU GET WHAT I MEAN. LOL!!!!!

nat taught me a lot!! he taught me this song which goes something like "BAYBEH!!!! GIMME BACK MY...", Break Free intro, and two other songs and i wanna post the lyrics of one now.

Make a Difference by _____________[Dear artiste, fill in your name]

Would You Lord, take a look at our hands
Everything we have, use it for Your plans
Would you Lord, take a look at our hearts
Mold it, refine it as to set us apart

We want to run to the altar
To catch the fire
To stand in the gap between the living and the dead
Give us a heart of compassion
For a world without vision
We will make a difference
Bringing hope, to our land.

We will answer the call to build this church without walls
Let your glory be shown, bring salvation to the lost
To the lostttttttt...

aye. and this really goes along with this msg someone sent me:
May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD.

HAHAHA! brudder RX is right. no point me in being good in guitar if i don't have God or character.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

quick update of service and some random stuff coz it's 12:35am and i'm tired!

yeah don't expect any lengthy essays here because my eyes are gonna close.

SO ANYWAY.
much thanks to wayne for doing icebreakers and for being so enthusiastic in serving God!! really awesome, how ideas can just come when you have joy in serving!!!! wayne obviously got some ideas and inspirations from God!!

btw. i saw joel JUMPED during p&w. you know usually he'll just stand there, cross his arms and maybe sulk a lil'. but he JUMPED. maybe he didn't wanna praise God coz it's too cramped. oh, speaking of cramped, wayne, carlos, joel and i had p&w behind everyone else! OH AND CARLOS CAME AS WELL! and we all really miss him loads!!!

oh btw! wayne and i kinda prepared for the worst that maybe 6 people may come for icebreakers. but so turns out that 10 came. woohoo!!!!

OH YEAH. God kinda answered yousheng's prayer. his class size is now 8. EIGHT. E-I-G-H-T. seriously. class can really be depressing with only two students attending, especially if you're the teacher. but anyways[yousheng's catchphrase], God increased numbers! like now, we have 3 people from Godchasers[with our O's graduate jzreel back] and 3 other people from Fervour[i think they're from Fervour. should be same cell as yousheng!]. and interestingly, they're all from China. amazing eh!!!

oh and sermon was really powerful!!! hahahaha i kinda expected Ps Song or someone else to preach but it turns out to be BRUDDER RX!!!!! i really like brudder RX a lot coz he's really funny. and so is his sermon!!! lol!!!!! but it was godly sermon. and on a serious note, it's telling all of us to live by character. which many of us, including yours truly, are lacking at times. and yours truly haven't been living with integrity. if i did, i wouldn't be making fun of my classmates, wouldn't have intentionally shoved[but i failed to] someone during a basketball match, wouldn't have done by homework during English lessons, wouldn't have judged and blah blah. but God is good!!!! God makes a way!!!! and God gives all of us chances!! God washes our sin away into His sea of forgetfulness!!! gone, period!!!!!

and we had praise and worship. few days back, God spoke to me and hinted to me to praise God by serving as guitarist this week. i've improved slightly by God's grace and mercy and haven't been serving as guitarist for a long time, i shall do so!! so i smsed cheryl asking if i can serve and she said "alright!" and she was really cheery about it. and i asked jianle to be the p&w leader!! btw. i really thank God for jianle coz he serves even when he's busy. he's got really good spirit to serve. so we practised.. and p&w was alright i guess!!!! but God used the whole p&w as an opportunity for His presence!!! and many of us whom are tired, weak, burnt out, stressed, discouraged are all strengthened because we were praying for one another and it's just so awesome!!!! up till now, i can still rmb lora's God's-presence-v-strong post and yeaaaahhhh!!!!! God's really awesome!!!! btw, there's this "mini trench" on my pinkie. looks cool!!! but i really enjoy the serving process because jianle's really accomodating to my mistakes[alot of them la, actually]!!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

coursework B

... LEFT WITH CONCLUSION UNTIL COMPLETION. i'm bummed. i'm burnt out. aha! and i'm really down. but i saw lora's blog! she praised God! and i can do the same!!!! and that is exactly what i've been praying for!!!!

"God, help me love You more."

this is one good opportunity to love God!! <3<3<3 God sees hearts, God has place and space for every single bad decision i've made or weakness i have!!! :D :D :D :D

All my Praise by Selah: I will follow You through dark disasters and sing Hallelujah through the pain.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

tryin' out this muscle-strengthening thingy..

yeah there's this thick rod with this spring thingy in the middle that's such high resistance that it's so hard to bend it. HAHAHAHAHA. i think i'm quite bony. not complaining because i can squeeze on mrts and slide past aunties when they block passage ways in shopping centres.

anyway, school has been really alright. but i've been really forgetful about homework. and i either do it during lessons time[with a trace of guilt in he process] or during recess. i'm trying my best not to think so much about my O's and i just wanna try my best. i mean God sure has a purpose if i do fail or do well or pass. hahahaha!!! but God's really amazing because He's very faithful even when i'm faithless.

come to think of it, God IS a 24/7 God. i walk on a lonely road and God is there, near!!!

i'm really thankful that right now, it's so much easier to communicate with some people. like i try to listen and shut my trap more than to correct and rebuke and correct and rebuke.

anyway, i'm really excited because i'm serving as guitarist this sat!!! God's really good because i was doing my qt and i was reading this part about Hezekiah purifying the temple and having loads of people poised for worship. and indeed, they did. the trumpets and cymbals and other instruments all in dissonance!! i surmise that it's rackety but i reckon that God likes it! and God don't really care whether people sing out of tune or whether the singer has a bad throat or voice. God just loves it when people sing to Him!!! and i'm excited for this sat coz this week's p&w is gonna be a blast!!! i can envision it! freestyle worship with God being present!!!

i was in my shower contemplating the music issue. i really like playing guitar a lot[though sometimes it can get boring when you play the same thing repetitively]! and truth is i really enjoy practising some songs like Far Away by Nickelback and Hosanna[you don't need me to name the artiste..] and i wanna learn how to play Baby You're always mine by David Cook! learning how to play tabs is really cool! but i don't know if it's right for me to play and listen to this songs too often. coz i gotta listen to these songs repeatedly to get the beat so that i can play the tabs[i don't refer to songs like Hosanna]. but i don't know if it's right to compromise, i don't know if it's wise to listen and listen just to play!! and when i switched on the com, i realized[or probably God told me] that i don't need to listen and listen just to play! God can prolly remind or teach me or even make a way out for me without having to compromise! God is faithful after all!!

so, i'm still excited about learning coz i have lots to learn[like nat told me it's gonna be a long time before i can jam]. but God is good!!!! k i'm pumped up in hitting the books now. yeah!!!!!

Saturday, July 12, 2008

heh, speakin' eternal!

God is truly fair and faithful.

i really enjoyed Nubian Gents and Feminine Fire yesterday!!! really REALLY AWESOME. like all their dance moves are just so cool[those in redbands are like so.. elastic? hahahahhaa but they v pro!]!!! and the sermon and altar call[if you call that one] was really apt, very timely. sometimes life and the devil can just hit you hard in the face and you end up feeling so lonely and frustrated but God is "truly fair and faithful."

and we had potluck at brenbren's house!!and i KNEW that brendan's house=swimming so i BROUGHT MY TRUNKS!!!! YEAAAHHHH!!! no scuba diving suits plx. HAHHAHA!!! eh but it's so difficult. i think i'm really lousy at swimming. brendan can swim like some fish[do you get my point?]. seriously! i tried to aqua jog and i thought i can overtake him and i did for a few seconds before he flew past me!!!!

btw. yuhong's mango pudding is..^$%(&)%^)(*&^_(*^%^&#$%^# reallt good. HAHAHAHA!!! NO JOKE!!!

i had great time with my cell. thank You God for this day!!!!

Friday, July 11, 2008

i need fabulousseee...

hello earthlings!!!!! i come in PEACEEE..

anyway, i'm really great. i'm eating and rushing out a blogpost and.. i've finished eating.

btw i just wanna share one of my favourite places in singapore and that's..

THE MIRANA CAKE SHOP IN SIMEI!!!!! it's really old and i really like it coz i's just so quaint. it's like, if you need a cake or tart or brownies or waffles, MIRANA IS THE PLACE! to me, it's really the one of the backbones of the simei community. i love their mango cakes there because it ain't too sweet and it's dead fresh. and i spent alot of my childhood in simei and mirana's part of it because my mum will always buy back waffles, tarts or cakes back home. btw, part of the shop is rented out to this old lady who sells the waffles, whom is replaced now by this unsmiling and aloof China woman. ah. but i still like the owner of the shop[who's this short(i think it's coz i'm tall) and old auntie] coz she's so friendy. you know mirana's shop ain't as well-furbished as Bread Talk and the confectionary sold don't go the flow but it still has it's regular patronage! :D :D :D love it there!
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"When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. 4Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, "Look at us!" 5So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.
6Then Peter said, "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk." 7Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man's feet and ankles became strong. 8He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God. 9When all the people saw him walking and praising God, 10they recognized him as the same man who used to sit begging at the temple gate called Beautiful, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him. "

mmm i've been feeling really shrivelled up for te past few days. like i really want God's presence when i'm doing QT but sometimes.. it's either i'm too distracted or too dense or.. i don't wanna continue. anyway, this man, he wanted money and apparently, Peter and John had none[seriously i think it's hilarious if you show an empty wallet to a beggar begging for money and wink at him]. but Peter had something better. God had something better for him and that's healing!

it's like.. he wants money and he's just gonna continue begging. but God had a better plan and that's to heal him so that he can EARN(i think) btw. i'm sure Jesus' time was not primitive to the extent where the word "jobs" would make you weird. hahahahahaha!!

and i guess God has a better things for me. mmm.. maybe God will touch me during service? and i'll be so convicted or something that i'll do crazy stuff for God. i really don't know!
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ahhh all the afternoon naps can really kill me and i don't know what's my problem, that i'll feel so dead after a one hour nap and i'll continue my DEEEEEP slumber. O's is in 3 months time!!! lol!!!
but i guess my future's decided in God and i praise God when i ace and i praise God when i flunk. amen? HAHAHAHAHHA!!!!! :D :P :)

Thursday, July 3, 2008

the people i hang out with

i was watching the "BODEH WAVE" vid and i just got blogging pangs. so i wanna type something special for everyone that i can remember!!!

KZ: yeah, kz is really special coz his hair is really unique. and he looks really like this uncle of mine cept he's a slimmer version. and he lent me his guitar which i'm really grateful for. God's good eh!!!!! he's very encouraging and he always keeps me updated about my sis and it's really awesome to know sucha leader. woohoo!!!

ALI: yeah she's the fairest indian[note the italics] i've ever met. she has those big goldfish eyes which makes her really awesome. and she always hangs on to God even when she's in the doldrums man and she's strong, inside out. that's what i call "hiong!"

CHERYL: it's the way God made her and that's good coz she's a really caring and loving leader. i rmb calling her once while she was sleeping and she paid attention to what i was ranting about and she listened and i really thank God for that. and even better still! God speaks into my life through her and often, those are reality checks. a slappa in da face!!!!! btw, i always rmb her as someone who cannot finish up her food. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

BRENBREN: i really like him a lot because he's very nice. like i rmb he got us gummy bears during YI camp '06 and got us chocolate bars once. AND AND AND HE GETS US STUFFS WHEN HE GOES OVERSEAS. i rmb those starbusts and wine chocolates. he's really a blessing because he rmbs all of us. and i irritate him[in jest] a lot and he goes along with me. hahahaha!!!! he's got this blur blur face which makes him really funny!!!

WAYNE: he's really a gift from God because he's just so friendly. i've got this feeling that he seems very dao when i first met him but seriously, he ain't! he is easy to talk to and opens up very easily!!! and he reminds me of the first time when i came to church. and he is the one that accompanies me to Bible study or prayer meetings.

JIANLE: see, jianle comes to my mind when i think of wayne because the two of them are really analogous[this is a personal sentiment]. he's got a very deep voice!!!!!! i think he can impersonate God if he goes to mission trip coz of the skits[not that God has a deep voice.. AIYA I DON'T KNOW LA!] but he's encouraging and godly and very kaki kaki. he's a blessing.

JIEXIN: i rmb i used to sit buses with her until i started eating catering frequently and i'll always tell her jokes and act foolishly and it always keeps us chuckling[k maybe not all the time coz i ain't a professional comedian]. she's really an academic epitome and it motivates us to study and give our best for God in our school ministry. God's good by placing her in my and our life. btw she's v intellectual. good brains are gifts, i guess!!!

RACHEL: i remember those times we talk online. and i rmb those times she start sharing with me and me being really resolute coz i was so skeptical. but she always has this passion for lost souls and she continues to serve as birthday i/c which is really difficult but she never gives up. and she really likes to sleep!!!! typical eh!!!!

CARIN: hahahahaha she's really very tanned and man, she's a buff when it comes to sports and studies. i rmb her face lit up when she knew about the tuition ministry and she joined immediately. and she teaches maths!!!!! she's eally incredible because sometimes her students may be problematic but she gives her best and she never gives up. she's so into serving God that it wows everyone[and me]!!

PEIRONG: she's tough. on the court she's ready to kick butt. in spiritual wars, she thrashes the evil one. times are always tough but she holds on and keeps going. she has character and attitude!!! but she's like Barnabas; she's very encouraging. and it's a blessing to have her in my life. and i really enjoy playing ball games and taking photos with foolish poses.

REBEKAH: she's a really caring small group leader. like she prays for me when i call her and i start griping and she encourages me to keep going even when i feel like giving up. she led us during amazing race and she's awesome and she always takes into consideration her group members, whether they are tired blah blah.

HONGHONGS: i like playing ball with her! she earned the moniker "Lightning Girl" for good reasons. she has springy legs and great speed. she flies[no i'm exaggerating, LOL!]. she encourages me with verses. i rmb there was once i was so tired when playing bball when she shared with me the "God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" verse. she's a great great friend and really a huge blessing. she's really sporting btw. she has this penchant to wave at bus drivers behind the bus she's riding. hahaha! i have great memories with her.

MARCUS: he's the man of the man. the thing is that he's really soft on the inside and he's encouraging. he shows real practical love like sending prayer smses and tagging encouraging words at people's blog. he's one of the kind, a lover of da people around him. he loves his friends and cellgroup and family. he's awesome!!!!

MC: you know, he actually have really good jokes in his arsenal. and he really reminds me of youzhao[seriously]. i rmb he used to be quite distant from people but he opens up now and he's willing to talk to newcomers. i rmb he talked to wayne when he first came. btw, i first met MC during this revision session thingy at church office and he DID NOT WANT TO TELL ME HIS SURNAME. LOL! he's a warrior of Christ inside.

LESTER: discipling others just ain't easy but he makes life easy for me. he always tells me about his day and shares with me his achievements and failures. he stands up for his faith and it's really encouraging. he's really good at guitar btw and he offers me good tips and websites!!!! but he's a really good testimony in school and i really thank God for him.

BESTIE: eh i tell you, my bestie is one high woman. she's always so hyped up for everything and she really show this Proverbs verse in her life[which i've a gut feeling, she doesn't know]: "A cheerful heart makes the face happy.." i rmb having this frown on my face last time and she always reminds me to grin and she's so cheerful. she has such unspeakable joy that it's contagious!!!!!!!

ESTEHR: eh she's a huge blessing. i rmb i first met her at BB inter and she was sitting on the circular seat beside the Buzz shop. and her legs bring her to great distances at such great speeds that even cheating against her won't work[experimented and guaranteed]. and she'a a great friend. she listens btw. she's slow to criticize and i always enjoy playing guitar with her. she's my solomon friend coz she offers great words of wisdom and i like playing ball with her too!!!! she's not only someone whom i can go crazy with, she's a great spirtual friend. WHO AM IIII....

NATNAT: LOL ZI ZEE REN EH!!!! he's my guitar sifu and a great spiriual friend coz i can share with him and he does the same and we can talk about loads of stuff. he's actually quite intellectual!!!! he's the first person that i met that lives in the East, along with youzhao, shawn and seeheng and xiaorong. he's always willing to teach me when i wanna learn. and we spent great fellowship at Hans. and eating ba ku teh. HAHAHA!!!! HE HAS REALLY GOOD JOKES TO TELL!!!! AND he can always give me the explaination for ss SEQ. "SILAT!"[inside joke!]

RAYHOE: he's very easy going and he's the only person from last year's batch that's still in tuition class so we spend time at beauty world eating lor mee or ba chor mee or char siew rice. i rmb that we both laughed and joked a lotat Idol Garden during mission trip. he's in scouts btw!! he does his homework too!!!! i talk to him a lot about school and work.

DEBRA: LOL SHE'S SOMEONE REALLY PASSIONATE AND HAS A HEART FOR EVERYONE IN HER LIFE. she loves her school friends and siblings in Christ and it makes me wanna show love to others too. AND AND AND she's really hyped up in MSN with all the caps and she's very very very encouraging!!!!!! what a blessing!!!

CALEB: he's the man that raises dynamics and he's got this really cheerful and goofy grin but he's an awesome brudder in Christ. like i rmb we played a lot during YI camp and he's the one that seems to suggest that we have fun at the soccer court :P he organizes outings and he's really awesome coz he gives his best in all the organizing and stuff. he can be Obama's secretary. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

XIONGDI: my xiongdi very kaki kaki one you know!!!! like she's willing to hold sermon discussions among the guys[when she's the only female] and she loves all of us!!! i always see her walking around with her hands at her back with her eyes darting everywhere. she's very encouraging and i rmb there was this once when she described her relationship with God and it made me all fired up for God coz God is just so real!!!

AHWEI: LOL SHE'S ACTUALLY A FEW YEARS OLDER THAN ME AND I'M TOWERING OVER HER. she has this really big big grin all the time to go with those big eyes[definitely a gift from God] and and she's so enjoyable to serve with during cafe because she gives people really nice nicknames!!!! like.. BUTCHER LIM. HAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!! her blog's really really encouraging because I SAW MY NAME ON ONE OF HER POSTS ONCE!!!!!!

okay that's all!!!!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

LOADS OF BRUISES PLX

"While they were stoning him.. Then he fell on his knees and cried out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them!"

now, ain't that powerful!!! but i guess it's really dismal when your own teachers start saying things like...

"what, yining is a Christian? then i'm better off not being one."

hahahahahaha!!! i was really upset that point in time. that said, my God still deserves praise and Paul delighted in his persecution coz when he's weak, he's strong. God reminded me of Paul at that moment of disbelief and anger.

you wonder why i was incredulous. it's because, honestly, i thought i was good testimony all along. i did my homework[though sometimes fail to], i come to school early, i don't skip classes and i study. but evidently sometimes people don't see it. i thought it's inequitable since the Christians in my class don't do homework. they come late to school. they this, they that. and i was illustrated as the vermin. words can sting.

but but but. God reminded me to delight. ain't there this saying where you become weaker as you become more comfortable but you grow tougher in tough times. God is awesome and glory goes to Him all. and i should bless this teacher of mine since that's what Jesus would have done.

whew! anyway, i'm starting to read TIME magazine. it ain't that bad but the segment on U.S politics left my mouth gaping[where they show laudation to Obama's campaign team and discuss about Clinton and her campaign team's gaffes and blunders]. they made no sense to me!!!!! lol!!!! but i really enjoy knowing more about current affairs. i don't like it when people say that i'm sua ku just coz i hit my textbooks often[which come to think of it, ain't true]. note the emphasis plx!!!!

anyway, i have this plans after O's:
1) PLAY GUITAR ALL DAY LONG
2) PLAY BASKETBALL ALL DAY LONG
3) SLEEP AND REST AND WATCH TV
4) find work if time permits
5) to be continued.
(the above is subjected to modifications and changes. like i can't play guitar all day long coz i can't play guitar, play basketball simultaneously 24/7. GET THE JOKE?! LOL!!!!!!]

Saturday, June 28, 2008

denied

"And he went outside and wept bitterly."

"Simon son of Jon, do you truly love me more than these?"
"Yes Lord," he said, "you know that i love you."
Jesus said "Feed my lambs."
Again Jesus said "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"
He answered "Yes Lord, you know that i love you."
Jesus said "Take care of my sheeps."
The third time he said to him "Simon son of John, so you love me?"
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said "Lord, you know all things; you know that i love you."

Friday, June 27, 2008

drink THAT CUP, YO!

aye and Jesus said that when He was gonna get arrested!!! awesome!! so that's something like what yousheng says when we don't dig physics: JUST ACCEPT IT.

there're times when i'll get persecuted in school. like if i hang out with this bunch of people, they start using words alluding to Christ, God and blah blah. such remarks are seriously unwarranted. well i was angry!!!!! but that's what Jesus said! "drink from that cup my Father gave me!"

btw, i studied very little this week. but the time i spent studying is like equivalent to the revision hours spent during the hols. LOLZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!

ahh. God's really awesome!!! Psalm 73:8 really refers to these people in my school:

"they scoff, and speak with malice; in their arrogance they threaten oppression"

and yet when we go on, it does something like..

"When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, i was senseless and ignorant; i was a brute beast before you." Psalm 73:21-22

i was angry and i vented my anger by playing foul during basketball. hahahahha and it sucks, feeling angry!!! BUT BUT BUT BUT.

"Yet i am always with youl; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel and afterward you will take me into glory." Psalm 73:23-24 God holds my right hand and that's most important because God never let me go and God's love is, according to the Bible, "higher than the heavens."

and to finish off.. "My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

GOD IS MINE. MY PORTION. GOD IS THE STRENGTH OF MY HEART. AMEN. my flesh, my heart may fail.[i think the heart part alludes to being desensitized but i don't know. plx correct me!!]

God is just so filled with love!!!! He holds me by my hand. like this adult[cept he's enormous] holding this hand of a kid's.

some of this cool verses God spoke to me and meant a lot to me:

"The Lord is my Shepherd... He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul and he guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake." Psalm 23:1-3 an awesome verse coz amen, God is my Shepherd. God is the One taking care of me. and He is the Restorer.

"How lovely is your dweling place, O Lord Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God." so today is saturday, the day we enter the House of God!!!!!! lovely lovely[SOUNDS LIKE LONDON TIPTON LOL!!!!]!!!!!!

i really thank God for some people whom can hear me out even when i disrupt their sleep

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

woosssshhh!!!

i'm sorry for the lack-of-creativity for my title. :P

anyway, this past 3 days were tough. i faced guilt trips and issues which i just can't solve and it seriously sucks because the thing is that i should have left it in God's hands and just wait instead. and it really sucks when you realize people don't like you, whether conveyed verbally or just inferred. i thought i would be immune to it and just get on with life but i was just worshipping with my guitar with the sun rays hitting me gently when i realized this feeling sucks to the max. probably deep down i'm upset because the person's face kept popping out and my mind will just replay:

"eh i really don't like your face leh."

but God's just so good because Jesus accepts me for who i am. i mean, love covers a multitude of sin but i ain't applying that in my life. probably a lesson from God coz sometimes God teaches things the hard way. and i'm thankful for people who will remind me when i go too far.

i really can't believe that i'm leaving secondary school in 3 months time and i tell you, i'm counting.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Your will

nat and i went to estehr's house few days ago to play guitar and it so turns out that she pumped her ball so we played ball!

so while we're playing, there's this man who is a little slow in the mind, sitting down on the bench and fuming. and nat sat down beside him and asked him stuff, eg. what's your name, how old are you and stuff and why he's angry. so turns out that there's another basketball player who looks intimidating took half the court and he couldn't play[it's psychology. you don't wanna get thrashed or bullied]. so nat asked him this golden question which i think i didn't want to ask.

"would you like to play with us?"

i tell you what was going on in my heart. i didn't want to play with him. i didn't want him to spoil the chance of the 3 of us playing together. and when nat asked the question, all this reluctance turned into guilt and disgust. disgust because i was disgusted with myself.

because if Jesus was around, He would have asked the same question. and nat shared a verse with me which was powerful and godly when i shared with him how i felt:

"For Christ did not come for the righteous but for the sinners."

amen to that!!!!!!! and that's exactly one of God's will for us. a command. gotta love everyone. big or small, just gotta love.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

showers and Peter and status quo

i really enjoy showers at night[most preferably my mum's toilet] because i can just let the torrents of water hit my bald head and flow down my bodeh. and as the water cascades down, my thoughts start coming in. prayer. worship. they set in.

Peter, peter, peter. why do you have sucha big mouth? peter, you made a very bold and reckless statement. Lay down your life? alright, you said that. but Jesus knew you would back out, last minute. your head probably swelled. your bravado probably impressed[maybe disgusted] other people. yeah. lay down your life. that meant a lot. and even more if you break that claim. but how did you feel when you broke your claim? were you worried about what people might whisper about you?

"yeah, you see that idiot who just denied Jesus? so much for that mouth of his."
"dude, that guy speaks before he thinks. what a waste of brains."

i seriously don't know what people during Jesus' time would say. but i know for one thing that peter felt ashamed. he always speaks before he thinks. his mouth comes before his brains. he might even felt impervious to those whom he may have hurt accidentally[or intentionally]. but that night, he felt like the worst loser on the face of this earth. he probably wanted to dig a hole and hide his face, filled with shame, inside it. never want to see those stares of people. never want to hear those snide comments. never. and he did what many people will do. he returned back to the life he led before he met Jesus. ahh. if he continued on doing Jesus' work, it'll probably remind him of what he did; the blunder he made.

yet.

yet he became the one who spoke. the one who shared. he became one of the greatest apostles ever. he became the person who wrote his own epistles which will be read by countless of Christians worldwide.

i read this story from Facing the Giants ages ago. and God reminded me of this story. of how peter grappled with his stronghold. and other people as well. i shouldn't be over-concerned about the "doing well spiritually or not" and sorts. yeah, doing well spiritually is important. coz if i have no character, i can easily get back to square one. character's so important!! but i probably forgot who i am.
-------------------------------------

status quo. it sucks when you're hurt. it does. coz when you're hurt, you've got this wall in front of you which seperates you from everyone. physically, you're present. but truth is that everything is deceptive. that person standing on the inside isn't you. or me in this case. we conform, we follow the flow coz we're afraid of being disappointed, afraid of messing things up, afraid of hurting others, afraid of this, afraid of that, blah blah. just living craven lives being afraid of nearly everything.

but in God i can make mistakes. i can hurt others, be overwhelmed by guilt and shame and sorrow and whatever nots and return to God. i can coz i want God to write the word "yet" in my biography. in my biography, i want this cursive y-word called "yet."

i may be someone who's inconsiderate, lousy, blah blah.

yet, i may become one of the greatest speakers God may use.
yet, i may become one of the greatest workers of God.

one of the greatest pastors, one of the greatest painters, one of the greatest worship leaders. i also want God to write a "yet."

yet.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

AMAZING RACE

sooooooo....

amazing race ended yesterday night with a service though for many[or should i say most], it was with abrasions, cuts andddd.. smell. HAHAHAHAHAHA. but it was packed with so much action, filled with so much mud and excitement, the atmosphere was really high!!! some kayaked, some rockclimbed, some went to INTERNATIONAL MERCHANDISE MALL[yeah if you don't know what is this, then so did we until my bestie cracked it] and blah blah blah. i must say my whole body's aching but it was very good experience!!! someone should post the photos.. *hint hint*
my team, though was the last[we reached church only after service ended], were of great fun and character. awesome people!!!!! no one was afraid to be dirty, everyone just chiong and fell[ with reference to Slippery Slope]! no one complained when we couldn't complete the last station!!! and that's awesome coz our futures are decided! praise God when we win, praise God when we lose, amen!![okay la if i tell you that i didn't felt disappointed, i'm kidding you]

Friday, June 13, 2008

ESTEHR'S HOUSE

currently at estehr's house[i mean i've been visiting hr since yesterday] and we have great fun cozzz...

SHE'S UGGGLLEEEHEHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, June 9, 2008

Jesus said

".. don't judge based on mere appearances."

and that is probably one of the most powerful thing he had said. i shaved my head today. and my sis.. judged me.

"eh, ugly you know!"
"later mama confirm scold you one!"

it's as though she's never watched tv shows like prison break and seen a jailbird before. and i was thinking, shuck, this society is one that sees image as imperative. like King Nebuchadnezzar. worship image. the one that looks the best gets the adoration and the one that don't gets stigmatized. and my mum was shocked of course. she kinda chided me. probably a huge lesson God wants to teach to someone so judgemental like moi.

Your love stands firm. says:
wanted to try something new. i wanted to look like pastor preston but i ended up looking like that monk who runs that charitable hospitable.
Estehr says:
LOL omg you religionist!

HAHAHAHAHA! i thought it made sense but she said she don't. oh wells!

"i lift my eyes unto the hills and where does my help comes from? my help comes from the Lord, Maker of heaven and earth."

Sunday, June 8, 2008

it's mornin' and da sun's beaaautiful!

nah, no sun at all! it's cloudeh and obscuring the sun rays. ah!

i was just walking around my house coz that's my favourite past time when i remember seeing this on someone's blog/msn nick. it says something like..

"everyone hurts but not everyone quits."

right now, i don't even want to pass call chains to this particular because i've this intention of just giving up on him. but i guess i just gotta hang on there and keep asking for God for more love. love afterall, covers a multitude of sin.

anyway, i'm gonna start hitting the books at nine. it's like what, 30 more minutes to that time? :p like what kz said: God deserves nothing less than our best. amen! :D

if we areeeee...

the BODEH. yeah! that's the song i'm listening to right now[btw, i think it'll be a great song to play on guitar. :D].

i love this line! :D sure speaks a lot eh:
"the weight of their judgemental glances tell him that his chances are better off on the road."

anyway, i tell you what i'm struggling right now. i'm struggling with disbelief and anger over someone's lack of faith. it's as though he's been sitting through nearly 6 months without hearing anything. without hearing. i have no idea what's going on with his life. alas, who am i to be judgemental. anyone who breathes on this earth would have struggled with lack of faith. maybe a couple of lies they believe and so on. i mean, haha even me!!! but God's love transcends all disbelief. God loves us whether we have faith or not, doing well or not, happy or not. God's love is amazing. i remembered seeing this verse on someone's blog... something about being patient when someone's low in faith.. where is it.. aiya! someone nice can tell me the verse by commenting! :D

------------------------------------------------------------------------
this evening, i was chatting with my aunt and she asked me this question.
"you going to work during the holidays?"[refering to post O's]

i told her i didn't know. i ain't sure if there are jobs which can give me day-offs on saturdays. i mean, the job can do me good. pay for mission trip and stuff. and then she took notice of my silent reply and said "if you're not going to find a job because you wanna go to church, i'll have nothing to say." my mind was going through a struggle. 10 years down the road, what if i can't support my mum? what if i'm resolute in not finding a job just coz there ain't a job on this earth that have saturday offs? God reminded me of my dream, God reminded me of Joshua 24:15.

"..But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."

aye aye! serve the Lord, amen!!!!!!!! if there ain't a job that have no saturday offs and i have to risk not going to church, then i'm gonna wait and find a job that gives me saturday offs. that's what Ps. Dave says! no compromise!!!!!! yeah baby!!! but since my dream job involves __________, saturday offs shouldn't be a prob!!!! and also also, i know of people's parents who live by faith and God honours them by blessing them[financially and probably in other aspects]. live by faith!!! that's an awesome thing, amen!!!!

btw, i finally found this passage i've been wanting to look. ahhhh thank God. this whole entire passage is relevant so i'm gonna post. BIBLEVERSEHEAVY!!!!!

"1You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. 2I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? 3Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort? 4Have you suffered so much for nothing—if it really was for nothing? 5Does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?
6Consider Abraham: "He believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness."[a] 7Understand, then, that those who believe are children of Abraham. 8The Scripture foresaw that God would justify the Gentiles by faith, and announced the gospel in advance to Abraham: "All nations will be blessed through you."[b] 9So those who have faith are blessed along with Abraham, the man of faith.
10All who rely on observing the law are under a curse, for it is written: "Cursed is everyone who does not continue to do everything written in the Book of the Law."[c] 11Clearly no one is justified before God by the law, because, "The righteous will live by faith."[d] 12The law is not based on faith; on the contrary, "The man who does these things will live by them."[e] 13Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: "Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree."[f] 14He redeemed us in order that the blessing given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit.
The Law and the Promise 15Brothers, let me take an example from everyday life. Just as no one can set aside or add to a human covenant that has been duly established, so it is in this case. 16The promises were spoken to Abraham and to his seed. The Scripture does not say "and to seeds," meaning many people, but "and to your seed,"[g] meaning one person, who is Christ. 17What I mean is this: The law, introduced 430 years later, does not set aside the covenant previously established by God and thus do away with the promise. 18For if the inheritance depends on the law, then it no longer depends on a promise; but God in his grace gave it to Abraham through a promise.
19What, then, was the purpose of the law? It was added because of transgressions until the Seed to whom the promise referred had come. The law was put into effect through angels by a mediator. 20A mediator, however, does not represent just one party; but God is one.
21Is the law, therefore, opposed to the promises of God? Absolutely not! For if a law had been given that could impart life, then righteousness would certainly have come by the law. 22But the Scripture declares that the whole world is a prisoner of sin, so that what was promised, being given through faith in Jesus Christ, might be given to those who believe.
23Before this faith came, we were held prisoners by the law, locked up until faith should be revealed. 24So the law was put in charge to lead us to Christ[h] that we might be justified by faith. 25Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law" Galatians 3:1-25

lots of things to read! but that's an anti-legalism passage so if you don't wanna read, you're either too dense or just so STUPID!!!!! hahaha kidding!!! btw, i'm feeling better now. thank God.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

forgiveness

"When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel and afterward take me into your glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing i desire besides you."

i realized that i've been taking some things for granted and i shouldn't because it's unfair to the thing. but thank God coz in God, there is room for mistakes. in God, failure is nothing. in God, there is forgiveness.

"But with you there is forgiveness, therefore you're feared."

Father, forgive me coz i've sinned.

Friday, June 6, 2008

jumbled up thoughts

"I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself." Psalm 89:1

"For great is your love, higher than the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies." Psalm 108:4

"If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand?" Psalm 130:3

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24

Thursday, June 5, 2008

logic does fail

life just doesn't make sense at times. shoot. it doesn't make sense for people to forgive after forgiving. it doesn't make sense for Jesus to die for the whole world. it doesn't make sense that God forgive me when i sin. it doesn't make sense that the good die young. it doesn't make sense.

yet when logic fails, there is truth. i always say "does this make sense?" i think i'm born a logical person! but logic is so not truth! logic isn't truth at all! it's 2 different things! God's love isn't logical, it's truth.

i sin, i sin, i sin. i thought R.C would keep me going but i crashed faster than i could scream. i give in to temptations more, i dwell on things that aren't godly, wrong motives, blah blah. this made up my whole week. but Jesus never condemns. Jesus keeps me going. Jesus holds on to me. Jesus never says that i'm not good enough to be revolutionary.

"it's alright. i still love you even when you sin. keep going."

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

refuge

indeed, God is our refuge!!!! God never fails me.

when i'm feeling so weary and i still had piles of things to do, i could still come up to God and say "Papa, hide me from all the shame and pain etc etc etc." i can boast that God is indeed my hiding place. hiding place when i've sinned, hiding place when i'm ashamed, hiding place when i'm tired. God is my hiding place.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

R for RADICAL. C for Conference!


yay ps preston!!!!

this pic is by far the coolest i've taken in my life.


xiongdi lao le!! happy belated 18th!!! xiongdi square!

happy belated 18th cheryl!!!!! much love!!!!!! :D

yeah so R.C rocked LIKE A HURRICANE[hahaha lovelle]!!!

truth be told, there's a lot going on in my mind. so much that i can't put it here


who likes being BURRRNNNTTTT. hahahahhaa the heat sometimes is so hawt that you can only just sweat and let the flames lick you. but behind the furnace are some of the best riches one can have. character, faith and blah blah. and when we finish furnace time and come out, though maybe not unscathed, but clinging on, we can see victory. and character. and loads of stuff! woah! Jesus holds on to me, to us and never let me, let us go! this week had been so tough and difficult coz i've been hit by so many temptations and shucks, it's horrible. it's wearisome. but the best thing is that Jesus holds on to my hand. no need to be ashamed of furnace times! yeah baby!

and dude, i'm not cutting. at all. i reached a horrific conclusion that i've been following the flow and it sucks, it's difficult, it's frustrating. and i have never wondered why did God made me so different. others can just woosh, flow along while i can't. shucks. i'm insensitive, tactless, have no control of my tongue, nonsensical. come to think of it, i don't know how many people have i offended and sinned against. loads. and not everyone likes it. not everyone likes me. revolutionary arh. so much for the masks. so much for being someone you aren't. what's my character? shucks. i have lost myself in the process. lost knowing who i am. process. relationships is also about processes. so naive of me to think that relationships comes from shortcuts.

i have also reached another horrific conclusion that i have nothing. i have nothing on this world. good brains? so what even i have them? people say i'm intelligent. but can i eat my O's cert for dinner? i only have a few of what you call "good friends." a few. so few that i can confide to. so few to shout "I'M FEELING DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF. I'M FRUSTRATED." so what do i have? Jesus. i have the only friend on this world that sticks with me. i have God. i've been coming up with excuses to justify and protect myself. but i don't need to. God is my refuge in oppressed times.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

whew.

i really thank God for lester because he makes life easy for me.

i don't know if i should be saying this. but he's the one that makes me see that it's worth discipling. God has changed him. juxtaposition of before and after will shock you.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

What do you want?

And that's what Jesus asked of those 2 disciples at John 1:37

"That night God appeared to Solomon and said to him, "Ask for whatever you want me to give you."

Saturday, May 24, 2008

indescribable

i realized how small my problems, my discouragements and what's going on are.

shucks. so small! those small little things on the sky that sparkle at night, God places them there and KNOWS THEM BY THEM. THE LIGHTNING BOLTS. GOD SENDS THEM. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. THE GREAT BALL OF FIRE. THE ONE THAT MAKES US GO "@#^@$^%(&%(*^(_)^*_(%%^#." GOD PLACED IT THERE.

HOW SMALL AM I WHEN NATURE, ONE OF THE GREATEST CREATIONS OF GOD, IS AWESOME AND BIG AND HUGE-R?!

---------------------------------------------------------------------
after sermon yesterday, i realized there are so many weaknesses in me. a lot you know!!!! a lot until it's indescribable[haha]! then i was on the mrt feeling frustrated when suddenly a line from a song floated in my head:

"Your hand O Lord, is upon me."

does it matters how big my problems are? coz God's hand which holds the universe is BIGGER[dunno how many trillion light years]! no problem! no pressure! strongholds can be broken! lies can be discovered and thrashed!

yeah baby! ready to rock and roll!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

remaining results

I GOT A1 FOR COMBINED SCIENCE[A1 for phy, A1 for chem]. I TOPPED THE CLASS BABY!!!! hahaahhahaa God's really good, really. i never got a distinction for science in my whole life[ah something yousheng can be proud of!!! :D]
i got B3 for F&N!!!! i didn't top the class. but God gave me more than what i expect. much more. thank God!!!!

ah God's good, really good.

Monday, May 19, 2008

my soul longs for You

i PASSED english. i kinda topped the class. 56/100!!!! but nothing to be proud about coz i'll prolly be last in some really elite school.
i PASSED combined humanities. i was hoping that i would fail my ss at least by a mark[i passed history by 1 mark] if not i'll fail CH. and God gave me what i wanted. perfect 50! :D :D :D
i PASSED poa. i expected a distinction but a B3 ain't that bad!!! as in seriously.


i'm still waiting, still hoping. but it's really tough when you're expecting yourself to fail most of your subjects. i expected myself to fail english and combined humanities. i'm not kidding. nearly half of my prayer journal is filled with requests for peace coz it's frightening when it bugs me. but God's good, very very good. of course can do better lah! but God's good enough to give me a pass.

PS: 60% of my cohort failed English. i'm one of the 40% that passed. how not to thank God?

Sunday, May 18, 2008

thank God for fun and taupok

oho!!!!! i think everybody really enjoys touch rugby. but i guess it's no coincidence that so many people in my cell plays touch/whack rugby!!!!! it's really relieving. i had lots of fun during cellgroup. i had taupok[where 5 boys ranging 50-70kg] squeezed the air out of me and samuel[two boys get legs, two boys the arms, then 1,2,3!!!!]. awesome awesome.

i think it's very true. my world crumbles. many times. it does. but God never fails me. i can run back to Him and say "Papa, i'm sorry for _____________." much love to my Heavenly Father.

anyway on friday, i prayed that God speak to me in a different way. and yes, God spoke to me through p&w.

"All my hopes, all my dreams, God I lay them at Your feet."

i have hopes. maybe not so much of dreams. i don't know if dreams and hopes are the same. but i have hopes. i can name some.

i HOPE that i can get all A's for my O's[counting out chinese]
i HOPE that God'll heal Victor's deafness
i HOPE that my disciples can come to church.
i HOPE that my disciples are doing well.
and many other stuff.

but how many times do i place my hopes at God's feet? probably near zero.

i really love God a lot. God really never fails me. He speaks, He answers, He loves me. i can confidently say that there is literally no one on this earth whom i can share with everything that's on my prayer journal. there's no one whom can satisfy my need for love. i tell you! i need love! i really do. sometimes i get so sick and tired of giving and giving that i feel as though people are leeching me. and worse still, i leech off people as well. the only channel of unfailing love is God. God Himself. men do fail. men/women cannot satisfy me because time and time again, all let me down. they make me feel unwanted. they make me feel unappreciated. they make me feel rejected. yes, even Christians. and i must have probably done the same thing.

but God is like Hosea!!!!!!! God's love streches far deep and wide!!! i can be as transparent as i want to God without Him rejecting me. sometimes i've this gut feeling that people find me boring because i rant a lot. but i can rant as much as i want, God answers!!!! my prayer journal is filled with rants and prayers that normal earthlings like you will probably find boring.

i love God a lot because He's just God. can do anything. always so unexpected. always so loving. always there.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

basketball again.

ohoooo! thank God for good weather and that no one disturbed us!!!!! :DDDD i had good fun. but my whole bod's aching. still, no pain, no gain!!!!!!!!

God, i thank You for good friends, good fun, good weather!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

:D :D :D :D

Estehr: You run on the road, breath in sulphur dioxide, breathe in nitrogen oxide, breathe in carbon monoxide, breathe in ozone, breathe in unburnt hydrcarbon, one week later get lung cancer!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! THAT'S CLASSIC K!!!!! :D :D :D

anyway, i went to popular and spent nearly 40bucks on assessment books. all on english compre and vocab. come to think of it, i guess it SHOULD be worth it. no pain, no gain right? but ot only that. i spent 7 bucks on a rather thick notebook. what for? prayer journal. people are using prayer journals. must follow trend. nah. i just felt like getting one. okay la partly because of trend. but can be put to good use! God will bless that, amen? :D :D :D

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i was writing my prayer journal.

"God, i feel like crying. God i cannot take it anymore. Very angry......... blah blah blah. Maybe You will make a way? But-"

i stopped at the "but." there's this thingy in me that's telling me that God is sovereign. God is sovereign. trust. gotta trust. i cancelled the "but."

i did my qt. and God had a lot to tell me. rejoice. c'mon, yining! thank God! and most importantly, BLESS those around you! c'mon, pray a prayer of blessing! don't just pray for growth and blah blah. bless bless bless! God is good.

i don't know how to continue from here.