Monday, March 31, 2008

i'm on the anvil

i borrowed this book called "On the Anvil" and it's really about God moulding you and stuff. and what did i got out from this book?

circumstances are there to reveal your true nature!

and that is what happened to me. what i found out was that i'm more than a short-tempered person.

-always resorting to threats
-and God even reminded me that i'm someone who procrastinates the same way as he. if not even worse.

and you list it down yourself. the circumstance come, God's there to mould you based on what you are. never comfortable. i tell you, i need God's mercy but now i need to show the same mercy to others. others who're just so indescribable that shooting him won't be enough. i'm angry now. but God's very merciful. if i wanna forgive like a Jesus-freak and offer the same second chance that God offers, God's gonna make a way for me.

new wine after all can't be poured into old wineskins. i can't compromise God's truth. hahahaha!!!!

you know, God is an amazing God. i'm ready to forgive like a Jesus freak. oh yeah.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

helmet of salvation

satan: woah, this people don't seem to like you. see, they're so cold to you!
me: *start making excuses for myself*
satan: you try to know them, they don't give a hoot about you. what for? your motives weren't even right!
me: *start making excuses for myself*
satan: you don't even know whether you're _____ or ______. which one are you?
me: *contemplating*
satan: what IS your identity?
me: i am a child of God.

that's the last thing satan wants me to say. he probably wants me to choose between ______ and ______. i have a third option. i'm a child of God. no, it's more than an option. it's the truth.

God, You're a good God who's love is unfailing.

Friday, March 28, 2008

O Lord, You searched me

"I will sing to the Lord for He has been good to me."

David is an awesome guy not just because he has a nice angmoh name or because he's king of israel last time but coz he's one radical man who loves God. what a huge difference, loving God's blessings and loving God Himself!

sing sing sing coz God's a good God.

Monday, March 24, 2008

the two officers picked up from shame

we don't need to stand in shame before God for our failures.

Friday, March 21, 2008


my cell went iceskating. i understand that age is catching up on me. ahh old already, hahaha!!! :p

when i was praying before my qt, there was amazing peace in my heart. something i haven't felt for a long time. God's an awesome God. i wait in expectation that God'll open doors in my life. God placed in my mind some of the stuff to pray for.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

God's my deepest love.

it's really all in the state of the mind. i struggled with my thoughts last time because i just think too much. who likes to stagnant spiritually? no one! applies for me too! but it's awesome when you know that nothing in this world can seperate you from the love of God. it's awesome when you sing a song when you're enjoying a hot shower. deepest love? God. deepest praise? to Jesus.

joy unspeakable and it won't go away, indeed! neither do i have to worry what tomorrow will bring. why bother? just sing! sing a praise song! get your hands on the guitar and just make music and worship! wow! God reminds me that some things have very simple solutions. it's just that we made it look so complicated and difficult.

i like to sing. i like guitar. my voice is awful. i'm not savvy with guitar as well. but who cares when blessing God's name is an awesome thing to do?

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


there's this word that started with a letter "c" that has the same meaning as "debatable issues" yet i forgot what that word is. so i went to this person's blog[i remembered that this word was at the first post of the blog] and i was scrolling through when i came across this[sorry, i forgot what is it exactly]

failure is when you don't put in your best blah blah.. and you chiong your guts for God to see a smile on His face.

random right? because that's radicalove, pleasing to God.

PS: that word is "controversies." i've poor memory, sorry. :p

no matter how bad i feel about myself. how ashamed i am. how badly i mess up..

God never forsakes me. but why am i still so drained? i don't want to plunge myself in self-pity. i don't want to give up on God. i want to at least PRAY. and so i did. i read Scripture. i read books. i still feel tired.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

gentle reminders and tears

".. What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name." Revelations 3:7-8

this is a great promise. i was watching facing the giants on youtube and this verse came up. while i was watching, some of this reminders came.

1. i should be studying for the glory of God and not for the sake of it
2. i praise God when i win and when i lose
3. my weaknesses are for God's glory as well coz He's the Almighty
4. God can work miracles in my life
5. i am what i think
6. and the verse above, of course

i did my qt after the movie itself. i referred to this few verses as well.

"Wake up, you drunkards, and weep! Wail, all you drinkers of wine; wail because of the new wine, for it has been snatched from your lips" Joel 1:5
"Put on sackcloth, O priests, and mourn; wail, you who minister before the altar. Come, spend the night in sackcloth, you who minister before my God; for the grain offerings and drink offerings are withheld from the house of your God. " Joel 1:13

and other verses in the following chapters of the book of Joel.

how important it is to cry out and intercede out of love. how important it is to cry and mourn and weep for the people around you. how important it is to tear your heart.

"Don’t tear your clothing in your grief,but tear your hearts instead.”Return to the Lord your God,for he is merciful and compassionate,slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.He is eager to relent and not punish." Joel 2:13

Saturday, March 15, 2008


this was shared during cellgroup.

"if you don't even dare to ask your teacher if you can attend church or not, how will you dare to stand up for Jesus during the end times when someone is gonna point a gun at you and demand that you reject your faith."

if i can't even answer this, what am i doing in church? what's the point of being an ardent Christian now when it's just gonna be simply a transitional phase now?
i realised that i have a lot of adjustments to make.

Thursday, March 13, 2008


i had this huge and fierce quarrel with this person few months ago and i was in the middle of those recollections. and the only thing i can say after all the pondering is that i after all, am only 16 going 17 years old. i am still human. i still need love. i still will give in to my emotions and in the end, sin. i will. i'm very limited in actual fact. the spirit of invinsibility is no longer there.

the studying don't seem to be producing any fruit. something i used to be good at is now one of things i'm afraid i can't make it. it's scary when you think about it and look at how big your giant is, how tall that wall is. and i really reached the end of my limits and i don't know what to do other than to pray. if God blessed me with an a 7 grade jump in a subject i used to hate so much, i wonder how will God turn up in this dire situation now. maybe not now, maybe later. maybe next month, maybe He'll just let it be. i really don't know. i finally understood how small i am.

O Lord, please help me.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

lora's house

so, it was raining and we went to lora's house! lora's maggi mee still taste as good! we[liyuan, me, estehr and shannon] love lora!!!! :DD

Monday, March 10, 2008


i was reading the first chapter, first page of "Live like a Jesus Freak" when i came upon this sentence:

"The single greatest cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips then walk out of the door and deny Him by their lifestyle. This is what an unbelieving world would simply find unbelievable." Brennan Manning

i evaluated myself, i evaluated the Christians in my class. i came up with a sad and real conclusion.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

the devil is a slimy creature

the devil had been bombarding me with thoughts i shouldn't think of and when i gave in to them, he would wag his finger and sneer "you call YOURSELF a CHILD OF GOD when you've DONE THAT?" how discouraging. the accusations from the evil one would have made lots of sense at that point of time. sometimes a sinful/selfish thought can just come in and i'll be horrified that i actually thought of something like that. hahahaha! the tempter and accuser has been using the same ol' tricks! but God's love is unconditional! God is love! God forgives those who confesses and renounces their sin! we are all saints who sin! isn't that awesome[maybe not for the "sin" part]!

everyday, my mind is like a spiritual battleground. and i'm tired too. i can never control my thoughts and the only thing i can do is to simply pray, resist, use Scripture. i can't STOP a thought from coming in[that's crazy] my mind.

confidence in God that He's approachable and He draws me to Him. that's what i need.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

prudence and discipline

it's really just wretched when you realise that you haven't been pleasing to God for the past few days, be it verbally or mentally. apostle paul must had a hard time. even he had problems trying to live a life pleasing to God. oh man! the conclusion that humans are finite are is just right to the core. i need prudence and discipline!

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Saying "Amen" to the Rain

Glory to God because God gives and takes away.