are you lurvin' it?

i was wondering how should i actually LOVE. i mean, HOW? how do i LOVE without any ulterior motives? without motives of just bringing the person to church? how am i to LOVE someone just out of.. love? and the answer came!

USING MY LURBE LANGUAGE!

i had spent half an hour earlier coaching my friend maths and i then realised that THAT IS LOVE! i'm actually loving my friend using my LOVE LANGUAGE! probably from God because such wisdom never comes from me! it's easy enough[at some costs] but still, it's worth it because the person opened up[maybe a little] to me!

love is indescribable and you can't express it! lurbe lurbe!!

the unbelievable

how can i believe that someone had a breakdown? someone whom i know as so unreceptive, so irritating, so hard on the inside can actually feel sad?

it's time for some Jesus-love!

still young!

"Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." 2 Timothy 2:22[very easy verse to rmb!]

east to west

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." Psalms 103:3

if you actually caught me with a guitar, you must be wondering how did i manage to get hold of one! you guys wouldn't believe it! i mean, yeah, i want to practise guitar. but it's hard because i can only practise it on saturdays and i can't possibly borrow other people's guitar all the time. so i saved and saved enough to get a cheap one! but i thought maybe that sum of money might be better off being pooled to fund me for mission trip! so i didn't know what to do but i had this fleeting thought that MAYBE God might provide me with a guitar. of course, i didn't really pray about it. guess what? kenneth zhang called me the day before and asked me whether i would want to borrow his extra guitar! turns out that nick is going to china for his attachment and kenneth borrowed his before he's gonna leave which equates extra guitars on his side! isn't that awesome!

purpose

i had this dream few days ago and i dreamt that i was a terrorist holding up my school. i held some rifle that didn't look like one[and did you know it has a bayonet?] and killed people! then suddenly, there's this message:

If it's not worth dying for Jesus, it's not worth living for Him too

it struck me so much that i stopped killing people and i surrendered my rifle. i guess i myself remembered that i was a Christian.

the story of the 17 year old boy

"he was, of course, as ordinary as anyone else. the only thing that made him different from others was that he's a child of God. yet unexpectedly, his life became overwhelmed by issues he struggles a lot with. he lost strength, he's afraid of what people think of him, he lived a life of shame and guilt. what he often picture in his mind was terrifying: people labelling him as a failure and throwing him judgemental glances. it might be just the devil throwing darts at his mind but it's just like this.

one day, he had enough. enough of living a life of a failure, living a life not worth living. after all, he IS a child of God! so he locked himself in his room and his eyes shot to the previous sermon book he had. he flipped to the page where the sermon was on "Dining at the King's table." it was an awesome sermon which he remember. he started reading and he could not help it but just cry. it's penetrating. it's still powerful as he's heard before. one of the verses on that page that shook him was Psalms 34:5. It said 'Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.' all he did was to read and cry. it was a cycle and it's painful. he then accepted what Jesus would have said if people label him a failure:

SHUT YOUR FACE BECAUSE HE'S WITH ME."

awesome story eh? because it's real. God ain't ashamed of us.

acceptin'

accepting others always seem difficult for me. but when i tried accepting myself, i actually couldn't. it can take time for me to accept others but it seems to take forever for me to accept myself. why? because sometimes i get so disgusted with myself that i give up and just get on with life.

i hear people telling me that i'm too hard on myself and now i think i am. it's difficult to let go but when i do, everything seems so normal to me. like it's expected for me to fail and sin and so on. at least i feel more peaceful and cheerful.

i needed a break, God gave me one.

giving God control

from 2 classrooms to one level of classrooms to two levels of classrooms. that's the miracle God did.

we're supposed to paste the hearts on everybody's desks today but check out this giant hurdles.
obstacle no. 1: many people couldn't stay and help out
obstacle no. 2: some classrooms locked
obstacle no. 3: we must finish everything by 5pm when it's already 4:30PM.
obstacle no. 4: some people in classrooms; this must be done clandestine.
obstacle no. 5: one whole level of classrooms are locked and we can't enter[long story]

but guess what! our time limit increased till we just didn't have anymore hearts and time and manpower to paste! the people who stayed back were extremely faithful! and they were the people whom i expect not to be faithful! how incredible and unpredictable God is! we were literally running for our lives, back and forth getting hearts and pasting them. right now, i'm left with 2 levels of classrooms but i'm sure God'll make a way for me to paste them tomorrow morning! and i was actually dreading this day because the obstacles in front of me were just so discouraging and seemed impossible to overcome! but God made a way when there seemed to be no way! soawesomelah!

God was in control, still in control till now.

Jesus the Driver

ya know what? i'm sick and tired of my own life. i'm revolted. i'm crashing through life and i don't want that anymore.

Jesus, take the wheel, take control of my life.

thanksgiving

Father, thank You for awesome pilots with good eyes that never fail.
Father, thank You for keeping them from freezing to death.
Father, thank You for keeping them safe from robberies and pickpockets etc.
Father, thank You for good accomodation.
Father, thank You that they came on time.
Father, thank You for keeping them safe from people with evil intent.
Father, thank You for good taxi driver.

thank You Father.

weak, then strong

sometimes being good at something can get in the way. well, you get loadsa complications, like pride issues, your non-conforming stand and the list goes on. the best thing is when you're lousy at something. that's when the Holy Spirit's your best guarantee.

i'm actually barely scraping through my schoolwork, with nearly non-existent time management. my spiritual walk with God isn't all great either. i never practise what i preach, my life's just different at different places and at different time. areas of ministry: down

Holy Spirit, fill me and change my life and let my life reflect Jesus Himself.

radicalove

even when i failed God, He won't fail me.
He gives me mercy in times of guilt.
He forgives when i come clean with Him.
He listens when probably no one would.
He gives me something i need: peace
He gives me second and third and forth chances when i give in to strongholds.

peace indeed, that's so different from the assurance you get when everything seems so smooth. peace that God gives when you just mess up. like i make a mockery out of myself, God didn't distance Himself away from me. when i feel the whole world failing me, God was just there. i just needed to seek God, that's all.

Father of the fatherless, praise Your loving name.