Wednesday, April 30, 2008


i remember going to Festival of Praise last year. don moen led this song which made me broke down on the spot. which made me realized how tired i am.

"He never sleeps."

God is indeed a God that never sleeps, never slumbers. rest in His love!!! when you're tired, mentally or physically or spiritually, take a break. find rest in God because He has a place for sinners, He has a place for failures, He has a place for His children.

i also remember someone sharing this verse with me. i was trying to find this verse when this verse[which i highlighted long ago] caught my sight.
"I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep" Psalm 121:1-4

i am more than a conqueror. my studies, in the lies i believe in. i can conquer them coz God's a good God who never sleeps. i delight in everything. my weaknesses. my hardships. my failures.

Sunday, April 27, 2008


emotions. one of the most deadliest adversary anyone can face. or should i say the deadliest. it's a very lousy leader. very. all the best if you have no control over your emotions.

i was angry, i was frustrated. i sat down on the bed and buried my head into my knees. this couldn't work, that thing is spoilt. God, i'm angry. very. but i don't want to be. i lift up my anger to You. take it away.

but worse still, i had very vengeful thoughts. i envisioned myself yelling. it's all her fault. no then it suddenly struck me.

NO... she has NOTHING to do with it. she offered to help. she really did. the last person i should vent my anger(mentally) on was her.

no, my emotions swayed me. i wept. and a song floated in my mind. the song which talked so much about God and I.

"i love You endlessly."

"God, i love my mum a lot. and i love You a lot too."

when i'm done with my qt, i was composed. i switched on my computer.
it worked.
my handphone was charging.
the person was still awake.

Your love stretches so far O God. so far.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Endures forever

God, Your love does endures forever.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

You know

My sighings are never hidden from You. You know them all.
My anger is never hidden from You. You know them all.
When i'm upset, You know it all. You know why, You know how i feel.
When i'm feeling all dried up, You know why and You know how i feel
When i'm overwhelmed by guilt, You know it.
The times when I'm tired, You know it.
You know perfectly my heart desires.

my sighings are never hidden from God. i was just flipping through the Bible and the first flip got me the verse i've highlighted ages ago. "All my longings lie open before you, O Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you."

the times when i've lost, God knows it.
the times when i needed comfort, God knows it.

nothing is hidden. i can present myself bare in front of God. He knows it.

He knows i'm anxious. He knows i'm upset. He knows my faith is running low. He knows. He knows when i'm putting on a front and when i'm not. He knows. He knows i want to do well. He knows.

it's best that i know He knows.


i was reading the book called Facing the Giants by Max Lucardo and there's one one one part which reminds me of the times when i'm just tired. sick of everything. spiritually, mentally, physically. David allowed his men to rest at Brook Besor. and most amazingly, he respected their decision and they got their share of the reward in the end. and guess what max lucardo highlighted?

"it's okay to rest. Jesus will fight for you."

David, no wonder, is called a man after God's heart.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008


Father, i'm human. fully human. i will fail. i will sin. i will give in to wrong motives, i will sway away from You. i will. but yet, You constantly pull me back telling me that You are a sovereign God and right now, i understand my emotions do not change You. Father, i want to bear good fruit. i probably have so many branches that do not bear fruit. Father, remove this branches and mould me. Father, i want to enjoy the fruits. Father, i want to remain in Jesus.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

mary and martha

"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:38-42

i guess martha was really alright, serving God and all. for so long, i've distracted myself from the things around me. so much to do, keep doing keep doing keep doing and the it never ends.

afterall, you don't judge how spiritual someone is by the amount of things he does. but i did and up till now i still do.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

five senses

my five senses cannot determine God's existence.

i can't see God with my eyes.
i can't hear God with my ears.
i can't feel God with my hands.
i can't taste God with my tongue.
i can't smell God with my nose.

so God is sovereign. a sovereign God whom does things as He pleases, for our good. God is still a good God.

there're times when i just wanna scream and shout it out. i read this book and there's this story about this boy who's so pressured to do well that he just screamed and screamed and screamed in front of his youth pastor before the y.p hugged him, then he quietened down and wept silently. i pondered upon this story during poa lesson and i felt like weeping on the spot.

i'm not being pressured to do well in my studies, no. but God is soveriegn. if i were to just depend on my five senses, trying to live what God wants me to live, then i'm better off dead because it's frustrating. very. i can only be like mary, just spending time with God.

quiet time shouldn't just be hearing from God. it shouldn't. it should be so intimate. prayer shouldn't be the same. i have so much in my heart to pour out to God. so so much. but i didn't, till now.

Friday, April 11, 2008

bryan yap

woah seriously man, he IS a JESUS FREAK.

you know everytime when i see him LITERALLY dance, he reminds me SO MUCH of david who also LITERALLY danced in the presence of God! woah! he changes the atmosphere of worship! awesome God!

he delights so much in persecutions because it's one way of trusting and glorifying God in the end. just so awesome. it's not some half-hearted cheer but it's so much of pure joy indeed!! :DD

O Lord, drive my vehicle because i'm worn out.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

God is still a good God

it is true. when one member of the Body suffers, all does.

i was at the wake when i saw people hugging and crying. and my eyes found it's way unto the body in the coffin, which looked so stiff and i nearly burst into tears because death is just terrifying. yet he probably knew that heaven was just a wink away and that's just totally sweet.

there're times when i'll visualize in my head that i'm on my deathbed yet i'm not afraid, not upset, just joyful because i'm a few moments from God, Himself. i could tell myself and everyone around me that i've lived a life worthy of living, a life that God wants me to live. i think that's perfect.

Friday, April 4, 2008


Father, i'm sorry for taking You for granted.
Father, i've dwelled in discouragement, i've looked at my problems instead of you and i victimise myself with self-pity and i shouldn't have done that.
Father i should have seeked You instead.
Father i have not been pleasing to You and that shouldn't be the case.
Father i pray for obedience to You in my life and Father help me to love You more.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008


my only prayer is that one day, God'll open your spiritual eyes and you'll see that God is bigger than all your achievements, dreams and hopes. ? what's with "the truth is that arh.."? God's Word is the truth. Jesus is truth. your so-called "truth" is simply a collection of past-experiences or probably quotes from some famous people you know and i don't or just your own insight of life you came up with while you're in a shower.

i was listening to the song Who am I. and i again understood that i'm really a "flower quickly fading." yet God still cares. awesome awesome God.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

stand up!

"The king of Israel answered Jehoshaphat, "There is still one man through whom we can inquire of the LORD, but I hate him because he never prophesies anything good about me, but always bad. He is Micaiah son of Imlah." 1 Kings 22:8

so, micaiah's prophesies are probably harsh to the max but true to the core. in my own school, looks are misleading. the coolest guy and sweetest girl in school can be seen gossipping about someone who's partially oblivious to the discussion about him going around. no wonder God "does not see as men does."