i had this huge and fierce quarrel with this person few months ago and i was in the middle of those recollections. and the only thing i can say after all the pondering is that i after all, am only 16 going 17 years old. i am still human. i still need love. i still will give in to my emotions and in the end, sin. i will. i'm very limited in actual fact. the spirit of invinsibility is no longer there.
the studying don't seem to be producing any fruit. something i used to be good at is now one of things i'm afraid i can't make it. it's scary when you think about it and look at how big your giant is, how tall that wall is. and i really reached the end of my limits and i don't know what to do other than to pray. if God blessed me with an a 7 grade jump in a subject i used to hate so much, i wonder how will God turn up in this dire situation now. maybe not now, maybe later. maybe next month, maybe He'll just let it be. i really don't know. i finally understood how small i am.
O Lord, please help me.