Sunday, May 18, 2008

thank God for fun and taupok

oho!!!!! i think everybody really enjoys touch rugby. but i guess it's no coincidence that so many people in my cell plays touch/whack rugby!!!!! it's really relieving. i had lots of fun during cellgroup. i had taupok[where 5 boys ranging 50-70kg] squeezed the air out of me and samuel[two boys get legs, two boys the arms, then 1,2,3!!!!]. awesome awesome.

i think it's very true. my world crumbles. many times. it does. but God never fails me. i can run back to Him and say "Papa, i'm sorry for _____________." much love to my Heavenly Father.

anyway on friday, i prayed that God speak to me in a different way. and yes, God spoke to me through p&w.

"All my hopes, all my dreams, God I lay them at Your feet."

i have hopes. maybe not so much of dreams. i don't know if dreams and hopes are the same. but i have hopes. i can name some.

i HOPE that i can get all A's for my O's[counting out chinese]
i HOPE that God'll heal Victor's deafness
i HOPE that my disciples can come to church.
i HOPE that my disciples are doing well.
and many other stuff.

but how many times do i place my hopes at God's feet? probably near zero.

i really love God a lot. God really never fails me. He speaks, He answers, He loves me. i can confidently say that there is literally no one on this earth whom i can share with everything that's on my prayer journal. there's no one whom can satisfy my need for love. i tell you! i need love! i really do. sometimes i get so sick and tired of giving and giving that i feel as though people are leeching me. and worse still, i leech off people as well. the only channel of unfailing love is God. God Himself. men do fail. men/women cannot satisfy me because time and time again, all let me down. they make me feel unwanted. they make me feel unappreciated. they make me feel rejected. yes, even Christians. and i must have probably done the same thing.

but God is like Hosea!!!!!!! God's love streches far deep and wide!!! i can be as transparent as i want to God without Him rejecting me. sometimes i've this gut feeling that people find me boring because i rant a lot. but i can rant as much as i want, God answers!!!! my prayer journal is filled with rants and prayers that normal earthlings like you will probably find boring.

i love God a lot because He's just God. can do anything. always so unexpected. always so loving. always there.

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