thank God for fun and taupok

oho!!!!! i think everybody really enjoys touch rugby. but i guess it's no coincidence that so many people in my cell plays touch/whack rugby!!!!! it's really relieving. i had lots of fun during cellgroup. i had taupok[where 5 boys ranging 50-70kg] squeezed the air out of me and samuel[two boys get legs, two boys the arms, then 1,2,3!!!!]. awesome awesome.

i think it's very true. my world crumbles. many times. it does. but God never fails me. i can run back to Him and say "Papa, i'm sorry for _____________." much love to my Heavenly Father.

anyway on friday, i prayed that God speak to me in a different way. and yes, God spoke to me through p&w.

"All my hopes, all my dreams, God I lay them at Your feet."

i have hopes. maybe not so much of dreams. i don't know if dreams and hopes are the same. but i have hopes. i can name some.

i HOPE that i can get all A's for my O's[counting out chinese]
i HOPE that God'll heal Victor's deafness
i HOPE that my disciples can come to church.
i HOPE that my disciples are doing well.
and many other stuff.

but how many times do i place my hopes at God's feet? probably near zero.

i really love God a lot. God really never fails me. He speaks, He answers, He loves me. i can confidently say that there is literally no one on this earth whom i can share with everything that's on my prayer journal. there's no one whom can satisfy my need for love. i tell you! i need love! i really do. sometimes i get so sick and tired of giving and giving that i feel as though people are leeching me. and worse still, i leech off people as well. the only channel of unfailing love is God. God Himself. men do fail. men/women cannot satisfy me because time and time again, all let me down. they make me feel unwanted. they make me feel unappreciated. they make me feel rejected. yes, even Christians. and i must have probably done the same thing.

but God is like Hosea!!!!!!! God's love streches far deep and wide!!! i can be as transparent as i want to God without Him rejecting me. sometimes i've this gut feeling that people find me boring because i rant a lot. but i can rant as much as i want, God answers!!!! my prayer journal is filled with rants and prayers that normal earthlings like you will probably find boring.

i love God a lot because He's just God. can do anything. always so unexpected. always so loving. always there.

basketball again.

ohoooo! thank God for good weather and that no one disturbed us!!!!! :DDDD i had good fun. but my whole bod's aching. still, no pain, no gain!!!!!!!!

God, i thank You for good friends, good fun, good weather!

:D :D :D :D

Estehr: You run on the road, breath in sulphur dioxide, breathe in nitrogen oxide, breathe in carbon monoxide, breathe in ozone, breathe in unburnt hydrcarbon, one week later get lung cancer!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! THAT'S CLASSIC K!!!!! :D :D :D

anyway, i went to popular and spent nearly 40bucks on assessment books. all on english compre and vocab. come to think of it, i guess it SHOULD be worth it. no pain, no gain right? but ot only that. i spent 7 bucks on a rather thick notebook. what for? prayer journal. people are using prayer journals. must follow trend. nah. i just felt like getting one. okay la partly because of trend. but can be put to good use! God will bless that, amen? :D :D :D

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i was writing my prayer journal.

"God, i feel like crying. God i cannot take it anymore. Very angry......... blah blah blah. Maybe You will make a way? But-"

i stopped at the "but." there's this thingy in me that's telling me that God is sovereign. God is sovereign. trust. gotta trust. i cancelled the "but."

i did my qt. and God had a lot to tell me. rejoice. c'mon, yining! thank God! and most importantly, BLESS those around you! c'mon, pray a prayer of blessing! don't just pray for growth and blah blah. bless bless bless! God is good.

i don't know how to continue from here.

lester

Father, i thank You for change in lester, Father i thank You for lester's dad receptive heart. Father i thank You lester didn't get into trouble today. Father i thank You that lester wasn't scolded. Father, i thank You lester is more hardworking now. i thank You.

exams

i don't know why am i typing this post.

like any other people, i'm going through a memorizing-regurgitate period. must explain, must do this, must do that. if not how to do well arh! hahaha!!! i still remember that today's SS paper killed me. i slept at 1 30am[okay la not as bad as it sounds coz i know of people who slept at 3am] and i woke up feeling drowsy and wondering am i at wonderland.

i'm go to hans frequently nowadays. study and talk which the latter made up most of time spent there. ah. who? i go with nat, youzhao usually. i like the both of them. the most amazing thing is how i actually met nat.

the day of departure for mission trip, tanah merah mrt.
nat: oh, zi zee ren!!!!!

hahahahaha!!! it's not everyday where you have church mates who live near you. esp when church is miles away. i share a lot with nat. like my life, cell, studies, a lot. we talk about movies, history and biking[something youzhao and nat really like] and loads of other stuff.

eh eh. God's good and now i understand why He placed me in the east. isn't it true that everything has their reason?

slumbers

i remember going to Festival of Praise last year. don moen led this song which made me broke down on the spot. which made me realized how tired i am.

"He never sleeps."

God is indeed a God that never sleeps, never slumbers. rest in His love!!! when you're tired, mentally or physically or spiritually, take a break. find rest in God because He has a place for sinners, He has a place for failures, He has a place for His children.

i also remember someone sharing this verse with me. i was trying to find this verse when this verse[which i highlighted long ago] caught my sight.
"I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep" Psalm 121:1-4

i am more than a conqueror. my studies, in the lies i believe in. i can conquer them coz God's a good God who never sleeps. i delight in everything. my weaknesses. my hardships. my failures.

emotions

emotions. one of the most deadliest adversary anyone can face. or should i say the deadliest. it's a very lousy leader. very. all the best if you have no control over your emotions.

i was angry, i was frustrated. i sat down on the bed and buried my head into my knees. this couldn't work, that thing is spoilt. God, i'm angry. very. but i don't want to be. i lift up my anger to You. take it away.

but worse still, i had very vengeful thoughts. i envisioned myself yelling. it's all her fault. no then it suddenly struck me.

NO... she has NOTHING to do with it. she offered to help. she really did. the last person i should vent my anger(mentally) on was her.

no, my emotions swayed me. i wept. and a song floated in my mind. the song which talked so much about God and I.

"i love You endlessly."

"God, i love my mum a lot. and i love You a lot too."

when i'm done with my qt, i was composed. i switched on my computer.
it worked.
my handphone was charging.
the person was still awake.

Your love stretches so far O God. so far.